According to Disney World officials, only five of the seven original dwarves will be returning to work this spring at Orlando’s Disney World. “Unfortunately, we just can’t afford to pay all of them anymore,” states Disney’s Chief Executive, Robert Iger. Iger claims to be in constant communication with Walt Disney’s head, cryogenically frozen at Citi-lab Orlando since 1966. “Walt agrees with the decision, whole headedly,” he joked. Iger refused to speculate on future cuts, but warned, “Grumpy better stay on his fucking Zoloft.” When asked about the tough decision, Iger stated, “Doc was a no-brainer. The kids won’t even miss him.” The decision to pick-axe Sneezy is less clear, however. According to key Disney insiders, Sneezy had an ongoing public relation issues, complicated by uncontrollable convulsive expulsions of mucus as well as financial problems. His out of control credit card debt was allegedly accrued at the Oriental Happy Ending Massage Parlor. Too often the sounds of Thai-ho, Thai-ho could be heard echoing along Orlando’s Orange Blossom Trail, amidst intermittent sounds of gesundheit.