Philadelphia, PA—A radicalized pop band calling themselves The People’s Republic of Devo are sticking up for the popular 80s band, Duran Duran. They are calling for the heads of all Discord staffers in response to the ezine’s controversial decision to burn 16 copies of Rio this Saturday at the Liberty Bell Pavilion.
“They should die,” said front man, Mark Mothersbaugh. “horribly if possible. This is an affront to Bowie the Goblin King and all things 80s. Think about it, what would 80s night be like without Rio? It would be as bad as a fucking 90s night, if you can imagine that.”
CEO of the Discord, Pierce Winslow, is firing back—out of the side window of his Buick GNX. “Yeah, I’m packing and I am defending my 2nd and my 18th Amendment rights.”
When it was pointed out the 18th Amendment involved the repeal of prohibition, Winslow said, “Yeah…drinking, shooting, and driving. What did you think I was talking about?”
The FBI and local law enforcement personnel are encouraging the main contributors of The Daily Discord to take this threat seriously and are suggesting they all lay low for a while.
“Just look at those orange hats,” said Springfield Police Chief Clancy Wiggum. “According to the MTV archives, they’re packing whips too. Not to mention, they’re probably all doped up on goofballs.”