Director James Cameron reported a violent personal attack on Friday. He identified his assailants as the Vegas showmen known as the Blue Man Group.

“They didn’t say a word,” said Cameron, “But the assault was well choreographed.” Cameron told police he had written the Blue Man Group a letter, in which he apologized about not casting them in his recent film Avatar. Unappeased, the performers accused Cameron of copyright infringement.  Their chief complaint involved the director’s choice to cast blue ‘imposters’ in the movie.

“They called me a racist and a Blue Meanie,” said Cameron, “which I believe is a Beatles reference.”

Things escalated for the director in early November after the grisly discovery of a severed Mountain Banshee head in his bed.  After last week’s assault, which witnesses describe as “entertaining, ambitious, and exhilarating,” Cameron sustained injuries to his clothing and parts of his ego. 

“I didn’t know my planet, Pandora, could unleash so many ills on the world,” said Cameron.  “I didn’t see that coming.  Well, I suppose it is better than what they did to the Smurfs.”

Papa Smurf, or what’s left of him, was unavailable for comment.