The recovery summer, the love child of Barack Obama and Joseph Biden, has gone to the big government program in the sky. Little Stimuleena was only three months old. There will be no open casket for this one, folks. You could lose your lunch. Oh wait, you can’t afford lunch anymore. Nevermind.
A proud parent, Joseph Biden, announced Stimuleena’s birth on June 10th. He expected her to have a full and rewarding life. In spite of six weeks of milking the teets of taxpayers, the pork-fat that was consumed by the parents before, during, and after conception was apparently too much for the fetus to handle.
While most experts were skeptical Stimuleena could survive after birth, her parents were certain Obamacare would sustain her. Since the cost of medical care would no longer be an issue, the good taxpayers of America could pay dearly to sustain her. After all, they had no choice.
Stimuleena is survived by her parents, Barack and Joseph; several god-parents, Rahm Emanuel, Christina Romer, Timothy Giethner, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid; numerous step brothers and sisters that reside in the democrat party; but no siblings…yet.
With the advice of co-god-parent Christina Romer, Barack may be planning the birth of another recovery child fund fest, Lollapelosi? This time they were advised to increase the fat, and milk the teets less, to improve the longevity of their next love-child beyond November 2012 (when Barack will be seeking his second term as president). We do not yet know if Hillary Clinton will be solicited to be the surrogate mother, although nine out of ten mental health professionals are discouraging this move.
Services will be held in private, with Barack Obama not yet willing to publically accept the loss. Stimuleena’s body will however be maintained in a cryogenic state alongside Walt Disney’s head, in the minute hope Obamacare will find a cure sometime in the Futurama.