Top 10 Daily Discord New Year’s Resolutions

1. One out of ten Discord posts will be non-Trump related (or your money back!)
2. No more *cough* …limit use of words: moronjority, ass-clown Hitler, and incurables
3. Only trim weed in states that have already legalized pot
4. No more  *cough* …limit drunk Facebooking
5. Don’t post your article: Women Don’t Get As Much Credit In Workplace, But Is That Really A Bad Thing?
6. Move out of parents’ basement
7. Don’t move into sister’s basement
8. No more collecting souveniers from victims (it’s how you get caught!)
9. Let Flat Earth Club membership lapse
10. Stop getting drunk and hunting for dark matter with butterfly nets

 

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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