Outer Portlandia—Missing November’s election has had clear consequences for young people and humans in general. In response, millennials across the country are banding together like never before, just to complain about shit. The majority feel gipped as they want their chance to end our republic. Thousands of angry Portlandians shouted obscenities and held signs today that read, “Please leave stuff for us to wreck!” and “I’m almost angry enough to vote!” A recent polls shows 75% of people under the age of 25 are still not planning to vote in the 2018 midterms, but more than 80% of this demographic intend to either continue protesting and/or join relevant FacbookWhineGroups.

Jack Stoltz of San Francisco, said, “I feel robbed. Someday I want to tell my grandchildren, we all wanted too much free shit and wrecked the country. Now what? I think I’m going to become a professional protestor, but the prospects of earning a living that way under Republicans is daunting. Jerks!”

Whereas young latinos want to se quejan de siesta all afternoon, Jewish millennials prefer to kvetch. But the results are the same. Young people aren’t going to do anything about anything, except protest and complain. If the country ends before they get to run it into the ground, there’s going to be hell to pay. “Well, someone’s going to pay,” said one protestor. “Not us, of course.”