Tag Archive for liberal politics

Disparity, What’s Your Policy? E Deplorable Unum: Out Of The Tax Plan Rides The One Percent

by Mick Zano • January 1, 2018

The U.S. just received one of the worst disparity of wealth scores among developed countries by the World Economic Forum, and this dismal achievement occurred before the pending carnage of Trump’s new tax plan. Luckily Republicans can’t discern if any country, or if any thing is even developed [Roy Moore joke removed by the editor]. Today our nation’s disparity trails even Russia’s …you know, the country at least partly responsible for our current State of the Union. From Russia with Lube? St. Petersbugger? Katherine the Make America Great Again? [Roy Moore’s horse joke removed by the editor].

Sorry, it’s a condition, please continue…

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by Mick Zano • December 28, 2017

Perusing the Discord files was an enlightening trip down memory-impaired lane. It was a great reminder of the staggering consistency of Republican ignorance. The Ingraham-style Angle is always a distraction and it’s an astoundingly cyclic and repetitive one. An event happens, Republicans draw the opposite conclusion, then they’re proven wrong, then they’re too busy being wrong about something else to notice, and then Reince, Priebus, Repeat. So what were they going on about six months ago? According to our archives here. How about this time last year? Pizzagate! Remember that slice of cheesy crapolla? How about two years ago? In 2015 Pokey was Caliphate fear-mongering for Christmas. Holy Crusades Batman! How about this time in 2013? Oh, yeah, Travelgate. Wow! Check out that overblown pile of Traveloshitty, here. It’s harder to go back in the archives further from our old server, but dammit, let’s do this! Yep, it gets worse as you go back …for them. Over the years my predictions seem to be spot on, so there’s must be spot off …which is fine if you’re a carpet cleaner.

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by Mick Zano • December 26, 2017

Tweet Tower—An unknown staffer has leaked Donald Trump’s Ancestry.com results to the press. A clear genetic link has been identified between the sitting president and the notorious Heat Miser, of The Year Without A Santa Clause fame. The staffer obviously released the information due to the recent level of coordination occuring between the two. The Heat Miser was the key adviser to encourage Trump to abandon the Paris Accords and is also at the center of the controversial joint venture into Trump Resort & Casino Iceland.

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by Mick Zano • December 16, 2017

The White House announced today the words ‘climate change’ will hereby be changed to the special prosecutor’s name ‘Robert Mueller’, wherever and whenever they appear in official government documentation. This executive order reaches all existing government agencies, including the Department of Agriculture, the Department of Commerce, NOAA and the Defense Department, just to name a few. This White House decree orders the changes be made via the Microsoft Office add-and-replace function. Additional mandates include the elimination of anything considered ‘evidence-based’ or ‘science-based’. These will be changed to some other stuff with the new headings of either ‘Hannity-said’, or ‘Trump-tweeted’. The White House is touting the level of choice still remaining for agency officials is impressive, and these moves are designed to further curb the impact of fake science from undermining key Trump initiatives.

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by Mick Zano • December 12, 2017

In this case levity is the mother of invention. Let’s give this experiment a shot with today’s important Fox headlines:

Sanders: ‘Your mind is in the gutter’ if you think Trump’s tweet at Gillibrand was sexual!

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by Mick Zano • December 6, 2017

A long time ago during an allegation far, far away—Darth Caedus is citing the forcible kiss planted on his mother’s lips during Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back as the impetus behind his father’s eventual slaying. The Sith Lord told the Discord, “The so called ‘light’ side of the force is fraught with actual force against princesses. Han Solo was kissing her without permission and C3PO was always grabbing my mom’s ass. Heck, I don’t even want tell you what that Wookie did during episode VI. Pig! Speaking of pigs, those pig gaurds from Return of the Jedi were pretty damn frisky as well. My mother once said being chained to Jabba the Hutt was preferable to the intergalactic grope-fest that occurred each day on the set.”

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by Mr. Sherman • December 3, 2017

Naked & Afraid XL Survivor Eva Rupert said, “I would rather have a pack of Howler monkeys flinging feces at me than be interviewed by these assholes!”

by Mick Zano • December 2, 2017

Tweet Tower—The White House is downplaying the replacement of Secretary of State Rex Tillerson with a cardboard replica. Many believe the president does not wish to emphasize the diplomatic aspects in his already depleted toolkit. Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said, “When the big-oil-diplomat fails, it’s time to bring in his cardboard counterpart. The president knows that diplomacy is often not the answer on the world stage and this will save both money on payroll and on related security issues. If cardboard cutout Rex Tillerson is shot or captured by Jihadists, the joke will be on them.”

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by Mick Zano • November 19, 2017

Barely Legal South Korea—Over one hundred former army nurses stationed at the 4077th M*A*S*H unit have filed class action lawsuits against now 93-year-old Dr. Benjamin Franklin ‘Hawkeye’ Pierce. All of the incidents occurred during the Korean War and the charges range from creating a hostile work environment, to inappropriate jokes, to outright assaults. Dr. Pierce is denying the allegations despite a mountain of video evidence that aired on CBS between 1972 and 1983. Thelma Johnson a 92-year old survivor of the series is accusing the surgeon of making frequent suggestive and lude comments that made her feel uncomfortable. Johnson told the Discord today, “Hawkeye once …well, just watch the episode that I’m in. He was always crossing lines, and not just of the 38th-parallel-north variety. He once considered a penis transplant just for the physical therapy. Freak!” #M*A*S*H*Too

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by Mick Zano • November 17, 2017

Montgomery, WV—President Donald Trump is being raked over the coals today after allegations have surfaced of strip steaks, strip clubs and strip mining. A handful of coal miners are alleging the president had inappropriate contact with them since November’s election. These allegations have muddied the waters, even by West Virginia standards.

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