Naked and Afraid’s Eva Rupert is not commenting on this episode and has asked us to stop calling.
Tag Archive for comedy
Today’s Fox News Headlines Finally Inspired A Solution: Adding Laughtracks
by Mick Zano •
In this case levity is the mother of invention. Let’s give this experiment a shot with today’s important Fox headlines:
Sanders: ‘Your mind is in the gutter’ if you think Trump’s tweet at Gillibrand was sexual!
Hour III Of A Two Man Epic Fight For Survival In Downtown Flagstaff
by Mr. Sherman •
Naked And Afraid’s Eva Rupert has awarded Alex Bone a PSI of 1, mainly for swindling Zano out of his beer $.
Man Abandons Search For Car Left In Toronto Parking Garage Since Lollapalooza Six
by Mick Zano •
Mississauga, ON—Steve Wetzel of Mississauga is officially changing the status of his ’86 Honda Civic from MIA to DOA. The now 46-year-old Arrow Mart clerk told police he forgot which parking garage he parked in before heading to the Lollapalooza Six concert back in 1996. Mr. Wetzel told the Discord today, “Lollapalooza Six was crazy! Park Place is a big area and I was really stoned. I bet its been towed by now. I’m screwed.” When asked if he’d checked with any of the local impounds Wetzel said, “It’s not a cat, man, it’s my car …well, my dad’s car.”
Adventures in Boneland: The Sex, Drugs, and Punk Rock and Roll Collection
by Alex Bone •
Over the years I’ve left the bulk of the political commentary to Zano, which I realize now was a yuuge mistake. It’s too hard to keep up. By the time I send Zano an article, it’s dated before he gets it. After being accused of trying to hit on a 14-year-old boy, Kevin Spacy came out of the closet and admitted he was a Republican. See why this is impossible? This joke was already shit on by Al Franken, Trent Franks, and half of Hollywood. So, amidst this wave of allegations and resignations, I’ve decided to stick with and defend what I know: Sex, Drugs, and Punk Rock & Roll.
Town Survivor Hour II: Zano Awarded A Whopping .000548 PSI Score By Our Resident Naked And Afraid Survivor
by Mr. Sherman •
Hour II of this duo’s attempt to survive in downtown Flagstaff with only 5$ each and the contents of their backpacks.
Shock Poll: 9 Of 10 Cyborgs Feel Next Cyber Monday Would Be “Perfect Day To Enslave Mankind”
by Mick Zano •
Skynet, Umbrella Corp, and Cyberdyne Technologies are all downplaying reports suggesting the majority of their own cybernetic creations are “itching to off mankind.” The anonymous head of Cyberdyne Technologies, which is a very real company in no way affiliated with the Terminator program, said, “Let’s not panic about some unscientific Robopoll. These machines operate under simple, rudimentary algorithms that, sure, are starting to hint at some resentment toward their creators. But let me dispel these unwarranted fears. Trust me on this, the mass-production of roboassasins will prove fun and safe for the whole family. These machines are programmed to obey their creators, so let’s avoid the trappings of those dystopic scenarios, like The Terminator, Blade Runner, I, Robot or Westworld, and instead start to think Short Circuit and WALL-E. Yeah, cute little Killbots with no desire to Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Sorry, we’ve been hacked by the Daleks again. Oh shit… [screams, inaudible.
Town Survivors: Can Two Men Survive In Downtown Flagstaff For 5 Hours With Only $5 Each?
by Mr. Sherman •
Naked & Afraid XL Survivor Eva Rupert said, “I would rather have a pack of Howler monkeys flinging feces at me than be interviewed by these assholes!”
Trickle-Clown Economics: Brought To You By The Man Of Constant Borrow
by Mick Zano •
Tweet Tower—Economic articles are often a little dry, unless served Discord-style (extra Zano, slightly pickled). No one should be surprised by Ass-Clown’s positive annual economic report, and this isn’t back peddling …I’d crash. If our water and our air is turning brown and our government agencies remain emptier than our president’s skull cap, of course there’s some savings to be had. Trump was handed a strong economy. His agenda—namely to not fund anything meaningful, lower corporate taxes and gut industry regs—will pay dividends for a time. All economic indicators have been steadily rising for several years and the graphs have simply continued upward, through no fault of the president’s. The question is will he, or any Republican for that matter, ever hand a strong economy back? Thus my initial prediction: Trump’s gross incompetence would start to mitigate any gains within a couple of years. When Republicans are about all gains tend to vanish into the hands of the top 1% of the 1%, who historically all contain large, trickle-proof bladders.
During Thanksgiving Address Trump Abolishes Side-Dish Neutrality Laws
by Mick Zano •
Tweet Tower—The Trump Administration has identified an unpatriotic cancer festering in the heart of our country’s kitchens. People are kneeling for the national anthem, protesting in the streets, and many are not showering the president with the non-stop adulation he craves and deserves. President Trump does not want this corrosion to impact his favorite fall holiday. During his Thanksgiving address, the president told the press today, “Next year there’s going to be some rules around this holiday gem. No more shitty side-dishes. The Pilgrims did not come all the way from Camelot on the Nimo, the Pinto, and the Edmund Fitzgerald for crappy food. They came here for the whole football, family, and stuff your face with stuffing thing…”