Tag Archive for california drought

Last of California’s Water Lost To Another Fucking Wildfire

Firefighters battle the Powerhouse wildfire at the Angeles National Forest, with the fire now having destroyed several homes near the Lake Hughes area in California June 1, 2013. The Powerhouse Fire remained at 15 percent containment after ravaging over 5,600 acres of the forest by Saturday evening.   REUTERS/Gene Blevins  (UNITED STATES - Tags: DISASTER ENVIRONMENT) ORG XMIT: GRB016

Clearlake, CA— Earlier today a massive wildfire consumed the last water in California. Governor Jerry Brown declared a state of emergency…from Seattle. Witnesses describe Clear Lake as disappearing amidst a fiery inferno of steamy evaporation. This picture was taken right before the fire tornado expanded and swept over the lake, sucking up sharks, wine bars, and countless creatures on Nancy Pelosi’s endangered species list.

Californians Begin Instinctively Building Pyramids


pyramidsLos Angeles, CA—As the super drought looms, prospects for the 2nd largest state in America looks grim. With water waning and an overdue earthquake promising to slide parts of southern California into the ocean, Californians are acting on an instinctual impulse. They are doing what every civilization has done, just prior to its collapse, for tens of thousands of years. They’re starting to build pyramids.

Governor Jerry Brown is sympathetic to the cause, “We all know ancient aliens have put messages into our DNA and these messages are triggered during certain evolutionary stages. But, who knew, it also happens right before pending cataclysms. So we’re going to build some pyramids and then do what the Mayans did.”