State of Emergency Declared as Wave of Incompetence Slams into Washington

State of Emergency Declared as Wave of Incompetence Slams into Washington

Washington, DC—President Obama is golfing and Vice President Biden’s mouth has been secured indefinitely in an undisclosed location until the current crisis passes.  The government is officially broken, politicians have reached absurd levels of corruption and stupidity, and the Tea Party movement is starting to look good to even sane Americans.

“We need to stop the bleeding,” said White House Spokesperson, Robert Gibbs.  “We need to stop the talking too.”

The White House plans to hideout, and not say anything or attempt to enact any laws for the next several months in the hopes that “it all goes away.”

“This is an unprecedented presidential collapse that we haven’t seen in our lifetimes,” said Sean Hannity of Fox News.

Sean was then reminded about George W. Bush, Jimmy Carter, Richard Nixon, and the last bit of the Clinton Administration.

Sean responded, “Well, besides them.”

He then repeated the phrase “not in our lifetime” until the injectable Thorazine arrived.

Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid held a joint press conference earlier today to restore faith in our current political system.  (Sorry…that was the joke.) 

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.