Trump Requires All EPA Publications To First Pass A ‘Putz-Review’ Prior To Release

Tweet Tower—After a media blackout at the Environmental Protection Agency the lights are finally back on today, for now.  After an intense meeting, the Trump administration has ordered the EPA to clear all future studies with a designated appointee before disseminating the information to the public. They are calling the newly vetted information: politically-modified-science (PMS). Kellyanne Conway explains, “Look, we have a Trump Transition team designed to transition this important information into something more useful to your average American. Call them ‘fun size’ facts. It’s just an extra check that we call putz-reviewed, oh, and we improved the EPA’s logo for no extra charge to the tax payer.”

When asked specifically about Trump’s new veto power, Conway said, “The veto will only be used as a last resort. You know, if Mr. Trump stands to lose money on a deal somewhere across the globe. And, as for your next question, Mr. Trump has totally divested himself from his business, well, under his new definition of divested.”

Kellyanne Conway went on to explain how there are always alternate ways to interpret data and how Mr. Trump wants to make sure only the best information is reported to Mr. Trump also will only be taking questions about this matter from, because they meet his new definition of unbiased. She also reminded the world how The Daily Discord covered this process long before November’s election. So America apparently had fair warning, or at least all 12 of the Discord’s followers.

Conway explained, “The graph below originally, and wrongly, depicted a gradual rise in Washington DC’s average yearly temperature, but after the putz-review process, voila’, there is no temperature change! See how helpful the skew function can be when dissiminating data?”

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