Tag Archive for Andrew Wheeler

Coal Lobbyist Pegged To Head EPA Envisions A New ‘Screwtopia’ For America

Tweet Tower—With the head of the Environmental Protection Agency resigning amidst a sea of scandal, President Trump thought long and hard on how to make a bad situation worse. He eventually tasked his aids with creating a list of the most absurd job histories for those who might replace the disgraced Scott Pruitt. Trump said, “As soon as I saw ‘coal lobbyist’, I stopped reading the rest of the list and called my buddy Andrew Wheeler.” The president later admitted how a coal lobbyist who he would first have to pardon would have been the best choice. The president later added, “Hey, but any port in a shit-storm, right?”

Here’s some of Mr. Wheeler’s accomplishments for those not familiar with this outstanding citizen: