Bunghole, TH—King Bumahole of Thailand is holding a Thai born American citizen, Joseph Gordon, on charges of criticizing the local royals. Do you know what we did, right here in the good ol’ U.S of A, with our Royals? We banished them to Kansas friggin’ City!

Until this man is released, the Daily Discord is prepared to boycott all Thai restaurant menu items with a spicy index below two and above four. OK, this number changes a bit from Discord contributor to Discord contributor. But this is what we call solidarity. Actually, it’s about as solidaritous as we get around lunch time. Hey, a fake journalist has to eat too.

We would now like to spend the rest of this article making fun of King Bugger-something. Oh, and we have a message for our Commander and Chief, two words…predator drone. We don’t really mean that… It would be a waste of a perfectly good predator drone. Hey, did you know that where we’re from, ‘to Bangcock’ something is anatomically impossible? Maybe you should rename the place after yourself, Bumahole, or whatever the hell your name is. Oh, but seeing as you’re an asshole, a predator drone might just fit…with some proper lubrication. We’re kidding! No lubrication for this asshole. I’m going to Dara Thai right now and not ordering something too spicy, or not spicy enough in protest.

We have just heard the Discord’s Chief Thailand correspondent is missing, again.