Nashville, TN—Former Vice President Al Gore is downplaying his retreat into seclusion since the recent global warming scandal surfaced.
“I was not hiding for that!” insisted Gore. “I was getting up the courage to tell the American people my real inconvenient truth.”
Gore revealed to a stunned audience that he enjoys dressing like a woman, “even more than Rudy Giuliani.”
Gore admitted to reporters that the real motivation behind his “green” activism was the fear that “if the world became too hot, people would notice my fishnet stockings.” Gore added, “Now that my secret is out, I plan to strut my stuff whenever and wherever possible.”
Gore ended the press conference by pulling off his suit pants, revealing a pair of silky nylons, to the backdrop of Tim Curry’s version of Sweet Transvestite.
He then attempted to climb a nearby flag pole, yelling, “I am woman, hear me Gore!” before being dragged out of the room by security.
I wish to complain in the strongest possible terms about the above faux article about the “green” activist who wears women’s clothes. Many of my best friends are eco-activists and only a few of them are transvestites.
Brigadier Sir Charles Arthur Strong (Mrs.)
PS — I have never kissed the editor of the Daily Discord.