The human brain has billions of neurons working in harmony through both chemical and electrical messages—each neuron is in sync, each one is informed, instructed, and orchestrated in an unparalleled fashion. How has the GOP so completely shutdown such a magnificent machine?

Before we hail the Obama victory, just how did 57 million people vote for Romney? Is this bubble really popping? I doubt it. Let’s focus on those dubious days leading up to the election, particularly, the whirlwind of drivel bandying about the internet. I joined We Survived Bush. You’ll Survive Obama and NewsBusters on Facebook (one D one R). I am not suggesting these are journalistic sites, but the social site meme is interesting. Even in the trenches, the Right clearly won the “screw reality” award. The Republicans ongoing cognitive dissonance is legendary, and who better to identify discordant ideas than The Daily Discord?

The “information” from NewsBusters and their ilk fall into three general categories:

Tactic 1: Total Bullshit:

Also known as “we already invented an imaginary narrative”, let’s simply repeat it ad infinitum until people believe it. These are falsehoods dressed as subjectivity. For example, this showed up from NewsBusters on 11/4:

“A former aid to VP Biden has written a ‘tell all’ book. Hmm… is Biden an even bigger idiot in private?”

—Jodi Miller

If you ask half the country if they think Joe Biden is a walking idiot, you will receive a resounding yes. Fox News and Drudge repeat this underlying theme over and over again. Is Biden gaffe prone? Yes. Is he a blowhard? Yes. Is he dumb? Hell no. He’s one of our most informed VPs in recent history. Dick Cheney, meanwhile, was an evil genius. Folks outside the bubble can differentiate between smart and dumb, good and evil, regardless of their political affiliation.

Take Jon Kyl for instance, one of AZ’s Republican senators…no really take him. I think he’s leaving anyway. This man is a barely literate bumbling fool. In an effort to help bring along a smaller government, he even started the Politician’s Name Shortening Initiative and then promptly changed his name from John Kyle to Jon Kyl. Yeah, he’s that dumb. I have heard this man speak on many occasions and there’s simply no other conclusion one can draw. But, his Republican partner in crime, John McCain, is clearly an intelligent man. Sure he picked Palin, but only to pursue his dream of joining the Mile High Club on Air Force One…in style (the taking of Palin 123? Wait, that was a train, wasn’t it?).

Meanwhile, the GOP defines everyone on the left as dumb and wrong. They can’t distinguish a Jon Kyl from a John McCain. Oh wait, Senator Kyl talked him into his initiative, so now it’s Jon Mcain. By the same token, the Right can’t seem to tell the difference between a Rosie O’Donnell and a Barack Obama. They are liberal, so they are both dumb. They seem devoid of even basic observational skills. Obama and Biden are not dumb, period. If they are so dumb why did they win every debate? …er, well the ones they showed up for. So it stands to reason your guys are dumber, right? Oh wait, reason is another liberal conspiracy. Of the last twelve presidential debates the GOP won only two of them! And the other one was Cheney wielding a 17% approval rating. This tally is not a coincidence. It’s meant to be an intervention.

Tactic 2: A Barrage of Bullshit that Sounds Important:

It’s like discussing the overall deficit numbers without discussing the policies that created it. The Examiner recently broke down our costly Republican policies here. It’s utter hypocrisy to blame Obama for every dime of the last five trillion. History certainly won’t.

Three days before the election the image below was sent to me on Facebook via NewsBusters—a group busy busting news into tiny shards of sensationalism. Hey, that’s our job! I usually read what NewsBusters sends me, but it almost invariably doesn’t make any sense.

So they are comparing the economy at the end of the first Bush Administration to the end of the first Obama Administration? Gazillions chimed in how damning these numbers were to the President. Do I need to explain this? Okay, let’s activate your dormant hippocampuses for a moment. Let’s try to remember something called recent history. This graph skips the whole Bush Depression. Bush started with a surplus in 2000, Obama started with a shit storm that makes Sandy seem like a librarian’s fart. In fact, there is no meaningful comparison. In 2004 Bush was still blowing through the last of the Clinton surplus by invading the wrong country. Remember? Tell you what, four years from now let’s compare the last Bush day V the last Obama day. That will be damning all right (Hint: not for Obama).

The GOP has created all these false narratives and has successfully built an entire ideology on a tower of false assumptions. One key example, they rank Obama’s presidency as “the worst ever.” If you talk to any Foxeteer they will all say, in unison, “Definitely, without question, Obama is the worst ever!” They say this even though historians and scholars still rank him highly. The Right seems to have blocked out the whole W thing (cognitive Busshonance?). At least when I lost eight years I called it college.

“Hey, if you don’t stop talking about Bush, how can we reinstitute his mind-numbingly destructive policies?”

—Mitt Romney

Umm, that’s actually why I keep mentioning him, Mitt. Check out the same list to see where scholars rank W (hint: he looks up to Nixon). I don’t think Bush is even going to be eligible for one of those Futurama head tanks. The Right has a selective memory bordering on a dissociative disorder…well, it does explain why Romney kept channeling Sybil on every issue.

Tactic 3: Take a Kernel of Truth and Make Popcorn:

This is what showed up four days before the election on this Book of Faces:

“Emmy Winning Former CNN Journalist, Amber Lyon Blows the Whistle, says she has proof that CNN is paid by the US government for reporting on some events, and not reporting on others. The Obama Administration pays for CNN content!!”

—Mario Murillo Ministries

This is the type of story where I invariably take the bait. I think, “Wow, maybe they have something this time.” Keep in mind so far their score is roughly 0 for 1,364,997, but you never know. It’s like when you lick your finger and stick it into a socket thinking, maybe this time the power won’t be on. Bill Maher has addressed this phenomenon. He will dismantle the argument of some Republican or another, point for point, but then there’s always this one tantalizing piece of evidence they throw out that makes you wonder. Maher later researches this one intriguing hunk of red meat and then reports back that it’s a complete crock of shit. Dig down into the heart of Republicana and there’s nothing there. It’s my quantum-vacuity theory; it’s the invisible elephant in the room (Seinfeldentalism?).

Okay, so the first link to this CNN scandal takes you into the exciting WordPress blog world of one Mario Murillo Ministries. Don’t go there, really. After that first quote, here’s his other deductive gem:

“CNN is paid by the US government for reporting on some events, and not reporting on others. The Obama Administration pays for CNN content.”

This was the type of shit flying around the net right before the election. But I see there’s a real reporter there from CNN and the original coverage is by Glenn Greenwald. I like Greenwald and even quote him here sometimes. So, shifting out of the bubble, I read his story over on The Guardian, then the CNN rebuttal, and then Greenwald’s 2^nd rebuttal. Excuse me while I lick my finger again and…..OUCH!

Umm, if you read the actual coverage it’s between CNNi (international) and the government of Bahrain. Somewhere between these two entities a decision was made to bury a certain documentary. So this is not our government, as fundamentalist Fred suggests, it’s Bahrain’s government. They seem to have dictated something to CNN International and it worked. It is an interesting read and there is a real question as to why CNN refused to air their own documentary. As for the reason? No one knows. Oh, and Obama is never even mentioned in the article. This is a device often employed by the GOP called Moronic Hyper Extrapolation (MHE). MHE…we don’t make the scandals, we just make up the scandals. I really think there’s something here, but right now it’s a mini-scandal for CNN, not Obama (hint: scandals that involve the President will typically mention him).

Hey, you want to see a real scandal? Search George W. Bush and….no, that’s pretty much it.

The danger is this: if a real Obama scandal emerges it will be fed through the Drudge filter, lovingly turned into fecal matter, and will then be dismissed by any person with a reading comprehension level above a turnip. My main concern remains, they could actually bury a real scandal—and may have already—during this perpetual information manure-glazing procedure (IMGP). Benghazi anyone? I don’t believe anything on Drudge or Fox News anymore and that’s certainly part of the reason.  I’m a Blogstradamus comparatively. Meanwhile, remember that time Dick Morris or Bill Krystol was right about something? I can’t. I cover stories that pertain to this planet, which gives me a clear advantage over the competition. Meanwhile, the GOP is doing a real disservice to reality…and the kicker is, as I’ve said before, they don’t even have to live here anymore!

When I say objectivity is dead on the Right, we’re talking missing-limbed, zombie after the headshot dead. Thankfully, more and more folks are taking notice of this phenomenon, like the electorate. Check out Salon’s take on the Right’s decent into madness. The Left is a mixed bag, for sure, but the GOP hasn’t gotten anything right since…when do they think the world was created? Somehow they remain a proud defiant party, despite their record, despite their candidate, and despite their last primary round—which closely resembled my psych unit…er, just before the court-ordered anti-psychotic injections arrive.

Romney’s tax plan and entire economic “strategy” assumed there would be a 4% growth in GDP. This will not be any industrialized country’s reality anytime soon. I disagree with Fareed Zakaria’s recent rosy assessment of our recovery. See his take here. We are still on the verge of a double-dip, a fiscal cliff, and I am not ruling out at this time the possibility of a Greenspan swirly (those are the worst).

But Romney’s plan also assumes that trickle down/supply side economics works, despite any evidence. Last week, the GOP tore down the findings of this non-partisan congressional research study. Their findings suggest the GOPs economic worldview makes about as much sense as a Kansas ski trip. But, there was such an outcry when this research was presented, the GOP had it removed….yes, removed. They had to, because it flies in the face of their prime mis-directive. What next, Zano posts? Okay, bad example; Mr. Winslow wants to take those down already.

Obama is a progressive when it comes to healthcare and green energies, which simply means he understands our future needs in a way Republicans can’t or won’t. Economically he’s walked the razor’s edge between high deficits and a double dip recession. Meanwhile, the GOP will almost immediately fall right back into any ditch—and, if there isn’t a ditch to be found, they will commission to have one dug (more shovel-ready jobs?).

“I cannot even begin to see how a conversation can begin. We have different experiences of reality. But that’s why, I think, this election is so fascinating. It will, by default, offer us a direct take on the majority’s perception of reality.

—Andrew Sullivan

Before the election the coalition of economists backed Obama, albeit barely. As I’ve said before, I want to know what a poll of a hundred economists think. Similarly, I want to know what a hundred climatologists think about climate change. The Right isn’t interested in a professional’s opinion. They are only interested in someone spewing like an Enron champagne fountain (have a Koch and a smile?). They want to know what a hundred people watching Sean Hannity think, which is an oxymoron by the way.

But what was Romney’s appeal? How did such a disingenuous man almost win the presidency?

“Evidence continues to emerge that Romney is one of the most dishonest, duplicitous candidates to ever seek the presidency.”

—Charles Blow New York Times  

I am not going to rehash all the mistruths… Mr. Winlsow fears it could crash our server, but Spitzer has one theory:

“The president’s first term dealt well with the immediate crisis of economic cataclysm but not with trends of declining middle-class income and security. People are unhappy. And when alternatives appear with promises, no matter how empty and unfounded they may be, people will give them a long look. The anxiety about our future that has allowed Mitt Romney a seat at the table is what will drive our politics for the next decade.

—Elliot Spitzer over on Slate.

Some would say the Right needs something called perspective, I would say…they need a clue. The threats of the Right about obstructionism before Election Day sucked—or, as Dan Savage put it, “We are no longer a democracy. We’re a hostage situation.”

But make no mistake, Romney would have driven us over the fiscal cliff…TO SAY NOTHING OF THE GREENSPAN SWIRLY!!

My hope is that after this election the Foxeteers realize a couple of things:

1. Do I just happen to agree with everything espoused on Fox News, even though the majority of it has been discredited?

2. Wouldn’t a return to facts and pieces of information deemed useful to people on this planet be more helpful toward solving our collective problems?

Either way their condition is, despite all rhyme or reason, deteriorating. I can’t wait for 2016, Hillary Clinton V Tree Stump. Well, tree stump does give a good stump spee…sorry.

How does the GOP still think they’re a competent party? By all accounts, it seems the Foxeteers are intent on remaining in a world of their own creation. Can this election change that? Will they even accept the electoral college results? Someone said on election night the only thing the GOP understands is losing. GOP I hope so.

You know why it’s often a “shock poll” over on the Drudge Report? …because the polls they tout are invariably bullshit. Many in the GOP called for a Romney landslide…the night before the election! Shitmentum, I think they called it. It’s like their filters now have filters. They look at the world through Drudge-colored glasses. After the election Matt Drudge displayed the Liberty Bell to portray a divided country. Umm, I’m afraid history is going to pin this shit on you and your ilk, Sunshine. But I do not believe this will be the Fall of the House of Rove. An Obama reelection is only the first round of chemo.

CDC, Atlanta—Scientists at the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta are set to announce on Friday a link between televised political ads and the recent nationwide outbreak of lung infection. A spokesperson at the CDC, Eileen DuBonnet, said to expect more details at Friday’s press conference, but that the findings are “based on surveys taken by over 18,000 citizens who have fallen ill at some point during the past two months.” These victims, according to DuBonnet, are experiencing symptoms ranging from a “dry, hacking cough,” to, “thoughts of suicide.”

Asked what specifically about the ads are causing the illness, DuBonnet said, “It’s the lying. In a typical hour long episode of prime time television, such as ‘Glee,’ a viewer can be subjected to at least eighteen 30-second spots for various candidates running for office. Oftentimes opponents run ads back-to-back, so a viewer will get accusations from each camp in a contested election within a minute’s time. Our immune systems just can’t handle the onslaught. The effect is traumatizing, and prolonged trauma has long been known to cause physical and even mental illness.”

Wyatt Edwards, 51, a dry-goods store owner from Atlanta, has been suffering since late September and says the illness has nearly ruined both his business and personal life. “It’s unbelievable,” he says, “I can’t stop hacking! I sure as hell can’t wait on customers at the store. At night it’s even worse. Half the time I’m coughing so much that the wife gets mad and I have to go sleep on the couch. It’s cold in the living room . . . and I’m stuck there all night . . . so the damn thing just gets worse! Antibiotics don’t help! Nothing helps! I just want to go blow my brains out.”

His wife, Jan, 46, concurs: “He isn’t kidding, except for that business about killing himself.  Another week listening to the hacking – – and I’ll do it for him.”

The cure for this malady, according to DuBonnet, is simply refraining from watching live television and editing the ads out before viewing your favorite recorded shows. She went on to say that the CDC has done extensive studies backing up their claims, and will document them at Friday’s meeting with the press. When told about a related story coming out of Flagstaff, Arizona, where researchers at the H.A.B.A. have determined that prolonged exposure to ‘Glee’ can cause blindness or self-immolation among certain American male demographics, DuBonnet declined comment and hurried back to the lab.

Ask your doctor if the mute button is right for you.

Paul Dunk, on assignment, Atlanta

What if Romney wins? How will that impact our already tenuous grip on reality? What the hell happens when we institutionalize the House of Rove? A place where people can say anything, minus fact-checkers, minus any objectivity, minus any political consequences for lying? We already have that, it’s called a spoof news site—well, some consequences, but we’ll leave the Ghetto Shaman’s last Barely Legal Kundalini Cruise lawsuit out of this.

Why is the Right so dangerous? A few things come to mind:

Blind support for oil, coal, and nuclear, because there’s always going to be one Koch Brother funded climatologist (KBFC? We do climate Right?). Blind support for the Patriot Act or even Martial Law, because it’s about freedom. Blind support for the dismantling of our entitlement programs, because it’s about personal responsibility, right Mr. Paraplegiasky? Blind support for the job creators, as the HR director escorts you from the premises. Blind support for the privatization of prisons, as they escort you to your cell. I’m going to stop now…don’t think for a second that’s even a fraction of my beefs with this bunch.

I don’t understand their ideology. And, if you’re going to have such views, why not champion the best parts? At this rate the GOP will never elect some Randian John Galt type; they’re going elect Gordon Gekko’s retarded brother. They protect and back the sociopaths of our society. They’re going to get completely screwed on this deal and, worse yet, so are the rest of us.

Did you listen to the debates? Again, it wasn’t so much the content—there wasn’t any. But the coverage was the story. After the 1st debate the anchors on MSNBC admitted Obama lost. He didn’t lose on facts, of course, because Romney didn’t provide any. But the Left still acknowledged the winner, clearly and decisively. Andrew Sullivan over on The Dish even had a complete live-blogging meltdown and, ever since, he’s only managed to intermittently post sad face emoticons. Cheer up, buddy.

But how can you give a creep like Romney such a free pass? Over the last three debates, Biden destroyed Ryan and Obama dominated the last two, but Fox News apparently missed that memo (Rove Determined to Strike U.S. Reality?).

Crap. I have a retraction to make. I said team Obama would win all four debates. In my defense, I thought Obama would have the decency to show up for that first one.

The Fox News formula is pretty obvious:

Republican wins debate = Republican Wins Big!!!

Republican ties debate = Republican Wins Big!!

Republican loses debate = Republican Wins Big! Moderator sucked

If you think Fox is news, I have some news for you… This is yet another reason why they’re the reigning journalistic joke of our time. A lot of people, even Bill Maher, are starting to get on MSNBC’s case, yet Fox, the greatest offender, goes unchecked by their own misinformed masses. A functional policing mechanism still exists on the Left. It’s called cognition. And I hope that will keep them from sinking to Fox News levels.

The Obama Administration is simply not capable of being as cynical, unprincipled, and as unscrupulous as team Romney. As for the VP debate, the fact checkers attributed 11 questionable statements to Biden and 11 to Ryan. A tie. Of course, that makes them both two digit midgets, but it’s still not really a tie. Biden made 3 to 4x as many overall points. Ratio’s matter. And, whereas most of the fact checking on the Left showed partially true statements, the right always dominates the “pants on fire” level bull shit.

So the least factual spiel from the Dems, by Dr. Verbosity himself, still had waaaay more facts. On the Democrats worst day, there is still more substance. I’m not giving a pass to Biden. He said two or three things that I think he knew were lies. Of course, that can be applied to any time Romney or Ryan opened their mouths. But it doesn’t go unnoticed…er, the way everything seems to on the Right.

The 2nd Presidential Debate: Not as good as Brokefact Mountain

See? Get your real news on a proper comedy site.

This post-truth spin-cycle has reached absurd levels. That’s why I’ve been covering this story for so long. The story’s not the fact that Biden schooled Ryan, it’s the fact that lies are the new norm. According to many on the Right, Ryan is their “smart” guy. He’s the man with the answers. In the immortal words of Chris Mathews, “HAH!”

How many facts did he offer? Few. How many viable economic solutions did he offer? None. What a joke. I love it when someone on the Right says “math matters”. That’s like Gallagher standing up for watermelon rights.

The Romney Administration represents the completion of a post-truth world. Politics have never been as openly dishonest in my lifetime. The Right is no longer even trying to make any real arguments and I am concerned the Left will follow suit. MSNBC is following the money toward Fox’s tactics and, if reality is truly passé, the Left will follow the Right. Why shouldn’t they? If lies win elections, what would stop them? These are politicians, not choir boys. They’ll do what works.

Outside the bubble, other countries are not going keep honoring our currency without movement toward some semblance of fiscal responsibility. The dollar is in jeopardy, as is our collective future. And the last thing we need right now is another no-tax and spend conservative.

Republicans have a point, I just haven’t figured out what it is. Their list of Obama atrocities fall into three general categories:

1. I don’t care

Gay marriage, bowing to other world leaders, portraying weakness, offering more insurance options to women, etc, etc, etc…

As for Obama’s “bowing” moments, that was just a ploy to pick pocket each world leader’s pants. His European tour salvaged some scraps of dignity and credibility for our nation. The fact remains he never actually apologized. He simply convinced the world a competent person had assumed command and, as a direct result, our favorability in 2009 rose in 24 countries (very significantly according to a Pew research poll). Actually, I think he needed to apologize more clearly for the actions of his predecessor. After all, he’s a war criminal.

2. Lies

Snubbing Israel, links to the Muslim Brotherhood, rooting against small businesses, weak of foreign policy and, of course, Obama is a socialist and the most liberal president ever!

The history books will overall praise his foreign policies and they’ll say he governed pragmatically, sadly, slightly to the right of Reagan.

“Even as the president has decried the hollowing out of the middle class, the fortunes of labor and capital have diverged on his watch. Quarterly corporate profits of $1.9 trillion have almost doubled since the end of 2008, while workers’ inflation- adjusted average hourly earnings have declined.”

—David J. Lynch

If he’s a socialist, he’s a pretty lousy one. Meanwhile, the GOP moves so far to the right it might trigger a magnetic pole reversal (poll reversal? Musrassen?).

“When you see an unexpected and sharply upward trend in inequality and want to accelerate it some more, you have ceased to be a conservative.”

—Andrew Sullivan

3. Then comes my personal favorite, the GOP’s only truth. The lengthy list of less than stellar economic news

Poor unemployment rates, slow economic growth, high deficits (mostly attributed to Republican policies) and the collapse of the middle-class.

This is their entire argument and it’s a good one…er, if you have no idea how we got here. This list of atrocities can all be summarized as, wow, it does take a lot of work to clean up after a Republican. Review Clinton’s speech at the Convention. No one questioned any of his arguments and he dismantled the GOP’s economic world. Meanwhile, the stock market had one of the best recoveries in history under Obama. In fact, Wall Street prefers Republicans despite history. I still think our recovery is imaginary, but…

“It’s often said that Wall Street prefers Mitt Romney to Mr. Obama, Mr. Hickey observed, yet the stock market has flourished under the president — and under Democratic presidents generally. Since 1900, it has returned 7.1 percent annually when Democrats have occupied the White House, and only 3 percent under Republicans.”

—Jeff Sommer The New York Times

This is a Zano prediction chart I’ve touted on this site since its inception, and it will prove accurate…well, if Romney’s elected. Obama still has only about 50% chance of avoiding a double dip recession during his 2^nd term. Romney has about a 10% chance…and that’s being kind.

I will never understand today’s Republicans, especially given their consistent my-brain-has-been-deprived-of-oxygen-for-several–minutes version of on any given topic.

“What the current movement right fails to get (but the left understands all too well) is that Obama is a moderate Republican president, and the polarization of the past three years has been a function almost entirely of the GOP’s decision from 2008 on to oppose, obstruct and destroy a presidency that represented – and still represents – a massive rebuke to their extremism and failure this past decade.”

—Andrew Sullivan

Washington, DC—In an unexpected move, the Romney campaign announced its intension to be the first administration ever to levy a tax on our nation’s homeless. Romney claims to have a five point plan to save America, or at least the nicer, Mormon friendly parts (MFP).

Mitt Romney said, “For too long the domicile-impaired have lived in our refrigerator boxes without paying a dime of rent. This shifts more of the burden unnecessarily, and quite unfairly, to the one percent. And some of my friends can’t even afford another car elevator these days. Think about that for a minute. No, my fellow Americans, the wealthiest can’t pay another dime, or we won’t even be able to hire someone to operate said car elevator. But what about the poorest one percent? Shouldn’t they pay just a little more for the greater good?”

Romney’s ‘Special Projects’ campaign manager, Vincent Drake, said “Once Romney is elected his five point strategy will shift some of the revenue generation back to those who haven’t been earning their keep. First these bums will have to prove how they have been eating, where they are sleeping, and most importantly where they are dropping their loads.”

Romney shared the details of his Operation Cardboard Box with reporters today:

1. All Dumpster-dived food will be re-taxed. The poor are still getting a great deal, but we’ll get some much needed revenue. For too long they have gotten by on food that has only been taxed once. This ends this January. If you eat it, you will be taxed. I’m thinking of calling it a regurgitax.
2. Park Benches, shanty towns, and squats of all kinds will now be rented. These will remain very low rents as we’re not trying to be unreasonable here. We’re certainly not looking for anyone to have to downgrade to newspapers.
3. There will be a small fee for newspaper blankets as well, because otherwise folks might move out of their spacious refrigerator boxes just to avoid their civic responsibilities. And I won’t have it!
4. All public defecation will be taxed. Yes, this used to be illegal, but our hearts are going out to these poor bastards. Instead of tossing them in jail, there will now be a fee for relieving yourself in public. We are thinking about 25¢ per pee and for a deuce we will be looking for a cool buck…or a hot and steamy buck, I suppose. We all know how much the homeless drink, so this could make great strides toward relieving the burden on our defecate…er, our defishit…oh, you get the idea.
5. I am so excited about my fifth point, but I can’t tell you about it until after the election, but believe me the slacking 47% won’t know what hit them.

In closing, the Romney Campaign promised to hold all Americans accountable, “Because how are we going to be able to engage in an unnecessary war every few years unless all Americans are willing to pull their weight? Urine alone can get us mired in another land war in Syria or Iran. Talk about a trickledown theory. If I get my way, the shit is going to hit the Iran,” said Romney.