Surviving in a Post-Truth World

Mick Zano

What if Romney wins? How will that impact our already tenuous grip on reality? What the hell happens when we institutionalize the House of Rove? A place where people can say anything, minus fact-checkers, minus any objectivity, minus any political consequences for lying? We already have that, it’s called a spoof news site—well, some consequences, but we’ll leave the Ghetto Shaman’s last Barely Legal Kundalini Cruise lawsuit out of this.

Why is the Right so dangerous? A few things come to mind:

Blind support for oil, coal, and nuclear, because there’s always going to be one Koch Brother funded climatologist (KBFC? We do climate Right?). Blind support for the Patriot Act or even Martial Law, because it’s about freedom. Blind support for the dismantling of our entitlement programs, because it’s about personal responsibility, right Mr. Paraplegiasky? Blind support for the job creators, as the HR director escorts you from the premises. Blind support for the privatization of prisons, as they escort you to your cell. I’m going to stop now…don’t think for a second that’s even a fraction of my beefs with this bunch.

I don’t understand their ideology. And, if you’re going to have such views, why not champion the best parts? At this rate the GOP will never elect some Randian John Galt type; they’re going elect Gordon Gekko’s retarded brother. They protect and back the sociopaths of our society. They’re going to get completely screwed on this deal and, worse yet, so are the rest of us.

Did you listen to the debates? Again, it wasn’t so much the content—there wasn’t any. But the coverage was the story. After the 1st debate the anchors on MSNBC admitted Obama lost. He didn’t lose on facts, of course, because Romney didn’t provide any. But the Left still acknowledged the winner, clearly and decisively. Andrew Sullivan over on The Dish even had a complete live-blogging meltdown and, ever since, he’s only managed to intermittently post sad face emoticons. Cheer up, buddy.

But how can you give a creep like Romney such a free pass? Over the last three debates, Biden destroyed Ryan and Obama dominated the last two, but Fox News apparently missed that memo (Rove Determined to Strike U.S. Reality?).

Crap. I have a retraction to make. I said team Obama would win all four debates. In my defense, I thought Obama would have the decency to show up for that first one.

The Fox News formula is pretty obvious:

Republican wins debate = Republican Wins Big!!!

Republican ties debate = Republican Wins Big!!

Republican loses debate = Republican Wins Big! Moderator sucked

If you think Fox is news, I have some news for you… This is yet another reason why they’re the reigning journalistic joke of our time. A lot of people, even Bill Maher, are starting to get on MSNBC’s case, yet Fox, the greatest offender, goes unchecked by their own misinformed masses. A functional policing mechanism still exists on the Left. It’s called cognition. And I hope that will keep them from sinking to Fox News levels.

The Obama Administration is simply not capable of being as cynical, unprincipled, and as unscrupulous as team Romney. As for the VP debate, the fact checkers attributed 11 questionable statements to Biden and 11 to Ryan. A tie. Of course, that makes them both two digit midgets, but it’s still not really a tie. Biden made 3 to 4x as many overall points. Ratio’s matter. And, whereas most of the fact checking on the Left showed partially true statements, the right always dominates the “pants on fire” level bull shit.

So the least factual spiel from the Dems, by Dr. Verbosity himself, still had waaaay more facts. On the Democrats worst day, there is still more substance. I’m not giving a pass to Biden. He said two or three things that I think he knew were lies. Of course, that can be applied to any time Romney or Ryan opened their mouths. But it doesn’t go unnoticed…er, the way everything seems to on the Right.

The 2nd Presidential Debate:
The 2nd Presidential Debate: Not as good as Brokefact Mountain
Not as good as Brokefact Mountain

See? Get your real news on a proper comedy site.

This post-truth spin-cycle has reached absurd levels. That’s why I’ve been covering this story for so long. The story’s not the fact that Biden schooled Ryan, it’s the fact that lies are the new norm. According to many on the Right, Ryan is their “smart” guy. He’s the man with the answers. In the immortal words of Chris Mathews, “HAH!”

How many facts did he offer? Few. How many viable economic solutions did he offer? None. What a joke. I love it when someone on the Right says “math matters”. That’s like Gallagher standing up for watermelon rights.

The Romney Administration represents the completion of a post-truth world. Politics have never been as openly dishonest in my lifetime. The Right is no longer even trying to make any real arguments and I am concerned the Left will follow suit. MSNBC is following the money toward Fox’s tactics and, if reality is truly passé, the Left will follow the Right. Why shouldn’t they? If lies win elections, what would stop them? These are politicians, not choir boys. They’ll do what works.

Outside the bubble, other countries are not going keep honoring our currency without movement toward some semblance of fiscal responsibility. The dollar is in jeopardy, as is our collective future. And the last thing we need right now is another no-tax and spend conservative.

Republicans have a point, I just haven’t figured out what it is. Their list of Obama atrocities fall into three general categories:

1. I don’t care

Gay marriage, bowing to other world leaders, portraying weakness, offering more insurance options to women, etc, etc, etc…

As for Obama’s “bowing” moments, that was just a ploy to pick pocket each world leader’s pants. His European tour salvaged some scraps of dignity and credibility for our nation. The fact remains he never actually apologized. He simply convinced the world a competent person had assumed command and, as a direct result, our favorability in 2009 rose in 24 countries (very significantly according to a Pew research poll). Actually, I think he needed to apologize more clearly for the actions of his predecessor. After all, he’s a war criminal.

2. Lies

Snubbing Israel, links to the Muslim Brotherhood, rooting against small businesses, weak of foreign policy and, of course, Obama is a socialist and the most liberal president ever!

The history books will overall praise his foreign policies and they’ll say he governed pragmatically, sadly, slightly to the right of Reagan.

“Even as the president has decried the hollowing out of the middle class, the fortunes of labor and capital have diverged on his watch. Quarterly corporate profits of $1.9 trillion have almost doubled since the end of 2008, while workers’ inflation- adjusted average hourly earnings have declined.”

David J. Lynch

If he’s a socialist, he’s a pretty lousy one. Meanwhile, the GOP moves so far to the right it might trigger a magnetic pole reversal (poll reversal? Musrassen?).

“When you see an unexpected and sharply upward trend in inequality and want to accelerate it some more, you have ceased to be a conservative.”

Andrew Sullivan

3. Then comes my personal favorite, the GOP’s only truth. The lengthy list of less than stellar economic news

Poor unemployment rates, slow economic growth, high deficits (mostly attributed to Republican policies) and the collapse of the middle-class.

This is their entire argument and it’s a good one…er, if you have no idea how we got here. This list of atrocities can all be summarized as, wow, it does take a lot of work to clean up after a Republican. Review Clinton’s speech at the Convention. No one questioned any of his arguments and he dismantled the GOP’s economic world. Meanwhile, the stock market had one of the best recoveries in history under Obama. In fact, Wall Street prefers Republicans despite history. I still think our recovery is imaginary, but…

“It’s often said that Wall Street prefers Mitt Romney to Mr. Obama, Mr. Hickey observed, yet the stock market has flourished under the president — and under Democratic presidents generally. Since 1900, it has returned 7.1 percent annually when Democrats have occupied the White House, and only 3 percent under Republicans.”

Jeff Sommer The New York Times

This is a Zano prediction chart I’ve touted on this site since its inception, and it will prove accurate…well, if Romney’s elected. Obama still has only about 50% chance of avoiding a double dip recession during his 2nd term. Romney has about a 10% chance…and that’s being kind.

I will never understand today’s Republicans, especially given their consistent my-brain-has-been-deprived-of-oxygen-for-severalminutes version of on any given topic.

“What the current movement right fails to get (but the left understands all too well) is that Obama is a moderate Republican president, and the polarization of the past three years has been a function almost entirely of the GOP’s decision from 2008 on to oppose, obstruct and destroy a presidency that represented – and still represents – a massive rebuke to their extremism and failure this past decade.”

—Andrew Sullivan

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.