Washington, DC—Fox News’s Minister of Meme Management, Dr. Frank Luntz, has officially laid the coveted Goebbels’ Egg today. Dr. Luntz, an integral part of the Republican bubble of non-reality, is best known for his ability to harness every American’s inherent stupidity.
“We vote 80% on emotion and 20% on intellect and that last number is just too high,” warned Luntz.
This pollster of pollsters, this inventor of the unfocused group, this “it’s not what you say, but what they hear” steaming pile of propaganda is thrilled with recent developments. “It’s remarkable,” said Luntz, “I have hatched an entire group of Americans who think Romney, despite his poor performances, actually won the last two debates. This is beyond my wildest expectations. Nearly half the country doesn’t even think Romney lost a single exchange…even last night when several times he said the President’s policies haven’t worked and then paraphrased the President’s policies…even the one before that when the moderator corrected Romney in real time and told him to ‘sit the F back down, bitch.’”
For years Karl Rove has used Dr. Luntz and his minions to foment this alternate universe and their hard work has finally paid off.
When asked who he thought actually won the last two debates, Dr. Luntz said, “This is not about opinions. This is not even about the proliferation of bullshit. This IS bullshit! Plato’s bullshit! The archetypal steamy mound of emotional metaphors. Your brains, your thoughts, your views are all mine. Mine! Mwahahaha!”
Karl Rove was unavailable for comment. He was rushed to the hospital earlier today with an erection that has lasted for more than four hours.