Voted Best Product 2012: Tens of Thousands of Zombie Feeders Recalled

Voted Best Product 2012: Tens of Thousands of Zombie Feeders Recalled

Ronco is in hot water today as the massive recall of their new zombie brain feeder is staggering (pardon the pun). There are clear concerns about the safety of the feeders released in early 2010.

One family from Michigan had this to say, “The thing leaks. While we were setting it up in a tree, it oozed spinal fluid, blood, and bits of gray matter all over my children! I’ll bet that’s a biohazard.”

Shortly after installation another family from Des Moines was ravaged and turned into zombies themselves when they failed to secure a back door properly.

“They were a nice family and now they’re a bloody nuisance,” said a neighbor who knew the Hendersons. “I had to shoot one of them in the head, and eventually I’m guessing it’s more of the same for the rest of ‘em.”

One good note, the neighbor reports their own zombie feeder seems to “keep them amused for hours.”

Zombie rights activists claim it’s not actually feeding them, which is false advertising. They claim it is making a spectacle of all zombies and is clearly violating their living dead rights.

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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