One Giant Leap for Cyberdyne Systems’ “Terminator” Program: 24 Dead

One Giant Leap for Cyberdyne Systems' "Terminator" Program: 24 Dead

Synnyvale, CA—An experimental facility patterned after the fictional Cyberdyne Systems Corporation’s Skynet has reached an impressive milestone today. Their robotic creation, the Hal-5000, fired thousands of rounds of a highly advanced weapon into every corner of their southern California installation last night. The robotic rampage killed 23 lab technicians and a custodial engineer named Dante, who before expiring told EMTs, “I wasn’t even supposed to be here today.”

Cyberdyne’s CEO, Daniel Milgram, is pleased with recent events, “It’s not every day it takes a SWAT team to take out one of your own rogue creations. This is huge. This is why people go into this field in the first place.”

The Board of Directors at Cyberdyne Systems, Inc. is also heartened by the arrival of a futuristic cyborg assassin, who mowed down several key researchers last week amidst a barrage of exotic bullets.

“Wow!” said Milgram. “Looks like we got someone’s attention.”

The military is already offering Cyberdyne a considerable percentage of the Nation’s defense budget to create a female version for some of the top generals in the armed forces.

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.