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Tag Archive for political satire
Pride in Ignorance: The Truth Surrounding The Confederate Flag
by Pierce Winslow •
I wrote a little rebuttal ditty, not about Jack & Diane. I just wanted to clarify some statements made in Tony Ballz’s recent article The Confederate Flag: Public Opinion Is Often A Petty Thing. Well, I want to take issue with one statement in particular:
“My defense remains the same: until fairly recently, the display of the rebel flag simply meant regional pride.”
-Tony Ballz
This is about as accurate as Trump on Immigration. The “rebel flag” is, most assuredly, a symbol of ignorance in that most Southerners don’t even know the history of their own “symbol of pride”. The Confederate flag, as plastered on countless Dodge Chargers and pickup-trucks, is not even the Confederate flag.
Discord’s Mick Zano Escorted Out Of Trump Rally
by Mick Zano •
Nancy Reagan, Best Known For Just Saying No, Is Dead At 94
by Mick Zano •
Travel Plans An Uphill Battle For Man Named Zika Ebola
by Mick Zano •
Tunisa—A Nigerian man with the unfortunate name Zika Ebola is on a permanent layover in a Tunisian airport. Despite requesting full screenings and medical examinations, no one will come within ten feet of Mr. Ebola. Even Zika-sniffing dogs, usually employed in these situations, are just whimpering and trying to scramble up the baggage chutes. Mr. Ebola has yet to be cleared to leave the Tunis-Carthage International Airport snack bar. At this point, he is very concerned of ever reaching Disney Land or his uncle’s wind farm, before he is due back at the water treatment plant.
Trump’s Inexplicable Rise Was Quite Explicable
by Mick Zano •
This week David Corn over at Mother Jones wrote an article explaining the inexplicable rise of Donald Trump. I wrote a suspiciously similar article, prior to Trump’s emergence, last August. I find The Donald’s popularity with the republican base quite explicable. It’s not the similar image that irks me so much as the similar content. I saw this shit coming a vile away. I love you Dave, but you have two choices: hire me at Mother Jones, or expect a call from a Mr. Goldberg of Goldberg, Goldberg & Cohen. What’s really inexplicable is how spoof news folks continue to outshine our more traditional journalists. Mother Jones is welcome to join the Daily Discord. With your skills and my prognostication prowess, I’m sure Mother Discord will become a beacon of clarity in these dark times. Thus Spake Zanothustra?
Thousands Watch As Magician Criss Angel Makes Gitmo Vanish Into Thin Air
by Mick Zano •
Washington, DC—President Barack Obama was all smiles today as he and the First Lady watched magician Criss Angel’s performance at Guantanamo Bay. The 48-year-old illusionist wowed a large live audience with his most elaborate trick to date. At the start of his act a giant cloth surrounded the notorious detention facility, Guantanamo Bay, but when the cloth was dropped only an empty landscape remained. Critics are calling the move a gross violation of the Constitution. Presumptive Republican nominee, Donald Trump, said, “Obama is dumb. He’s dumb. A. He could have had Cubans build the giant cloth around Guantanamo and 2. the trick should have made the prison grow larger. I want to round up every ISIS and Al-Qaeda member in the world and put them all into my larger camp, which I will rename Trump Torture. I might employ Mr. Angel to make the Red Cross disappear.”
Affluenza Teen Stricken With Douchebetes!
by Mick Zano •
Hillary Clinton “Nonplussed” By Daily Discord Endorsement
by Mick Zano •
Flagstaff, AZ—The Tuesday before Super Tuesday is about to get even supererer as The Daily Discord is throwing a HUGE endorsement Hillary’s way. Many of my fellow contributors are clearly Berning, so this was a tough choice. My rants over the last decade are imbued with a common theme. I feel strongly that a Republican supermajority would be worse than when Kidz Bop opened for that Jonas Brothers cover band. Never again! My ultimate decision to support Hillary is twofold: 1. Hillary is one the most qualified candidates in recent memory and 2. most of her popularity problems are based on either the actions of her husband, or what we in the industry call “bullshit.” When it comes to complaints there’s very little there, there. Her main problem is her likeability. She’s a walking personality-void in a pantsuit. She makes John Kerry seem like the Most Interesting Man in the World. “I don’t always endorse candidates for president, but when I do, they where pant suits.”
No One Expected The Scalia Imposition! Obama Explains Funeral Faux Pa
by Mick Zano •
In related news, the promo for Sharknado 3 depicts a shark in space with the caption: “Oh hell NO!”
