Nowhere, AZ—A local meter maid disappeard under mysterious circumstances yesterday afternoon. She was later found stuffed like a pinatta with her own parking ticket pad. Police are questioning everyone in the town in alphabetical order. Breaking news: all police questioning will occur in reverse alphabetic order since a person named Zano submitted this story for publication. Officials are claiming Zano had a motive as he recieved a parking ticket only hours prior to the incident. Since the infraction occured at the corner of Beaver and Cherry, many are wondering if other charges are pending.

I got nothing this week. Nada. I have to get to the bank and the post office today, so go ahead feel free to click on something else. I love our meter lady, but only because I can just rub off the chalk mark she leaves on my tire each day. Just don’t complain about the lack of any actual story to our C.E.O. If we all work together Mr. Winslow might not even notice. I think he’s starting to use this rag as a tax write off anyway. I don’t blame him. It’s probably next to impossible to turn a virtual business like this into a drug or sex trafficking operation. If you know differently please send the related link or Youtube instructional video to our contact button. Thanks. Oh, and be kind to your local meter people, unless they’re real jerks.

* Hat tip: Davey L.