Trumping The Establishment: Kiss The Ring, Bitches

the-godfather-1972-movie-poster-donald-trumpThe emergence of a Trump, or someone like him, was predictable. I know I’ve been a little hard on my republican friends over the last 10K posts but, to the Discord’s credit, Pokey and I tried a “bridging gaps” approach to politics long ago. We’ve both been keenly aware of our media’s demise and our polarizing trajectory. Despite our best efforts, here we aren’t. Pokey is now a AM radio-listening Limbaughite and I’m now entertaining the idea of endorsing Bernie “Socialist” Sanders. No polarization going on here… It’s sad really, when you stop to blog about it.

“I am rubber and you’re glue, whatever you say about me, it sucks to be you.”

—Donald Trump

Pokey was always slightly right on the issues and I was always slightly left, yet we both took note of the last tethers between our political ideologies snapping like the establishment at a Trump rally. Sadly, the art of debate is dead. This reality vacuum allowed Trump to suck all the airtime out of the room. Rubio won the first republican debate and he didn’t get squat for his efforts. Only Charlie Sheen winning counts now.

Trump is taking advantage of what Fox News created. He is channeling all the angst and using their own flawed debate tactics against them. Such as:

Tactic #1: The flippant, false remark

“Government is not the solution!”

Actually, gin is the solution.

“It’s the government’s fault.”                     

You mean the DMV? You win this round.

“Cutting taxes will resolve that.”                

Roads? …where we’re going we don’t need roads.

“End corporate regulations!”  

Says Gordon Gekko from Wolf’s Yacht.

“Socialism never worked anywhere!”

Unless you happen to have access to an atlas.

“Obama doesn’t have the guts to win.”  

Apparently Bush did. The entrails are still strewn about the world.


Trump has mastered this Coulteresque debate-ending nonsensical non-sequitur (DENNS). Jeb’s appeal to Latinos yesterday, ended with Trump’s. “If you want to be President, Jeb, speak English.”

It’s one of the reasons why this Frankenstein’s Nominee will be so hard to kill. A recent Flesch-Kincaid on Trump came in at 3rd grade level. W was 4th grade level and at this rate 2020 will bring us 2nd. It’s a shame they haven’t noticed. As predicted, they’ve weaponized stupid. Trump is as devoid of facts, details and understanding as his supporters. As a dismissive, entitled megalomaniac, Trump is a fair representative of the republican shit show. He is free to just spew any nonsense rattling around his head (See: any republican comment thread, ever).

Tactic #2: : All data can be spun.

“You can twist data any way you want.”

Professor Twist?

“Science has been politicized.”    

Brought to you by the folks who don’t understand science or politics.

“Congressional budget office numbers? Like I believe them!”  

Hey, if numbers aren’t real maybe we’re already out of debt.


Facts? Where The GOP is going they don’t need facts. When the discussion turns to details Trump will, regardless of the source, invariably not agree with their legitimacy. This is another important republican tool, and so is he. Any fact that points away from their collective delusion will illicit a questioning of the source. Pavlov’s blogs? Meanwhile, what Fox News is doing to data is still illegal in most southern states. They forever seek out that one data point that supports their unconscionable position. Trump has mastered this. He can dismiss facts with a wave of the hand or a Rosie O’Donnell joke.

Hillary = Benghazi/email, Sanders = socialism, Biden = gaffe, Middle East = Bomb.

Never mind that The Donald doesn’t know who he’s bombing exactly, as he recently confused Quds Iranian force with the Kurds. If Obama gives the Klingons an inch, they will take a whole sector! How did he respond? By calling the guy, “A third rate journalist.” And it works…every time!

Conservatives rarely link back to anything at all when making their case and when they do it’s generally caliber, or worse. To better understand, hold any given article up to a mirror and then you’ll be able to see some truth.

You can do anything with facts!

Yes, I agree, look what Fox News is doing to facts. I didn’t know facts could bend like that. In fact, I’m surprised CERN beat The GOP to the Higgs Boson. What republican do to facts on an atomic level I don’t think Plastic Man could do after a truck full of muscle relaxants. Now we’re seeing the result of the de-evolution of a party that I have covered for many years. People will flock to the Trump banner, as predicted. The know-nothing army is on the march and where this ends now is anyone’s guess.


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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.