Seven Pakistani men are in custody today and many are asking the question “how could this have not happened?”
Thanks to a missed memo, the CIA was able to thwart an attack against the Vice President’s mouth. The plot was foiled despite a recent Rasmussen poll revealing over 90% of those polled actually believe the attack should have been allowed to commence unhindered. The intelligence community admits there was incessant terrorist chatter to finally put an end to the Vice President’s incessant chatter in the days leading up to the planned attack. The seven men accused were caught possessing enough explosives to blow Biden’s mouth clean off of his face.
“We had plenty of notice to not stop the attack on the Vice President’s mouth,” said CIA head Leon Panetta. “We knew the attack was coming, but we stopped it anyhow. I take full responsibility for Joe Biden’s continued ability to speak.”
Head of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano, understands America’s desire to shut Joe Biden’s mouth but is accused of spinning the story, thusly: “I get it. Remember, I have to sit next to the guy in meetings. But what if Biden’s mouth could be used for good? We could broadcast it along our southern border to deter illegals, or threaten its use against North Korea, or maybe even use it against BP executives.”