Sierra Vista, AZ—A large caravan of immigration hopefuls is indeed tearing through Mexico in a direct line to the U.S.’s southern border at this hour. In an effort to turn Arizona blue, democrats in congress are proposing a plan to harness this untapped voting demographic. They hope to have taxpayer money earmarked for a makeshift bridge-tunnel system that will funnel this large group of soon-to-be illegal immigrants directly into key swing districts.
“This is what fighting voter suppression looks like,” said Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY). “If you are going to systematically attack minority voting rights, we’re going to get a little creative with our solutions. This is the new Democratic Party, almost as shady as republicans. Seriously, we’re thinking of adding that to our mission statement.”
President Trump told journalists today, “The Dems are making fake IDs for these people! Schumer is nuts! Pelosi is nuts!! These are all killers and rapists, even the children, especially the children. Those people teach them to pickpocket and rape in the womb! Wasn’t that an Angelina Jolie movie, Womb Raper? I hate her too!!”
*Hat tip out to the Pokester.