Start Asking The Right Questions, Not The Right’s Questions

Just answer the question? I’m done answering these endless distractions in the guise of questions. The questions posed in your last feature, Mr. McDooris, are faulty from the get-go. Your first argument, let’s call it number one, smells more like number two. Yes, I went there, but so did nearly half of America in the 2016 election. Electoral sewage? Oh, and when I point out how 9 out of 10 experts generally don’t agree with the republican assessment of any given situation, it’s only because 9 out of 10 experts generally don’t agree with the republican assessment of any given situation (at least retrospectively, aka, One Step Beyond the Twiright Zone). There’s never any validity to the rightwing’s focus and if validity does exist somewhere it’s some overhyped semi-relevant tidbit. Thus enters Pokey’s focus on Robert Mueller’s bias and his pending recusal from the Russia probe. Heez Nuts? 

Your implication is that there’s some wave of imaginary experts questioning the Mueller probe bias. We had that debate. You lost. Again. A closer look at the ‘smoking gun’, aka the Agent Sztrok testimony, we discovered he was fired for the perception of bias, no bias or wrongdoing was found in his actual work. His personal views are his own and, as a sentient creature, kudos to his political insights.

Meanwhile, here’s Pokey’s first argument about Mueller’s pending recusal:

“Mueller and Comey are longtime friends, documented and indisputable, so government regulation 28 C.F.R. 600.7 states that no employee shall participate in a criminal investigation or prosecution if he has a personal or political relationship with any person which he knows has a specific and substantial interest that would be directly affected by the outcome of the investigation or prosecution.”

So in their own whacked out political upside down, the counter investigation—you know, the garbage invented by the Hannitys and the Joneses of the world—is secretly the real investigation. In alternate world there’s a conflict of interest between the special counsel and the former head of the FBI. You are laboring with the misapprehension that the onset of the investigation had anything to do with Comey.

Mueller was not hired to assess Comey’s credibility vs Trump’s. He was hired to:

1.) Look into Russian interference in the election.

2.) Find out if Trump, or any of his minions colluded.

Comey only became an integral part of the obstruction piece of the investigation when President Trump started contradicting himself about the FBI director’s firing, and then followed that up with a CNN interview wherein he admitted he fired Comey because of the “Rusher thing”.  But, after reading that statute maybe—and I am no legal expert so this is a big maybe—Mueller should farm this part of the investigation to an underling (in much the same way Loretta Lynch did after meeting Bill Clinton on a plane). This seems like a grey area to me, aka where republicans spend all of their time while the Constitution burns. After the Lester Holt CNN interview it’s already game over. It’s like finding a bunch of body parts in Trump aid Stephen Miller’s freezer, but acquitting him on the grounds that none of the dead people could point to Miller as the culprit. Right to deface your accusers?

Tangent of the Day: Reminds me of that Bill Maher bit. No human remains have been discovered in and around Mr. Miller’s residence, but I just know it’s true.

I really hope the Mueller probe does this one by the book, because any procedural irregularity whatsoever, no matter how minute, will become very dangerous, but only because of the resulting overblown reaction by the cognitively-stunted Trump base. Even if Trump is caught dead to rights, as he likely will be, his batshit base will use any technicality as an excuse to shoot up a Whole Foods somewhere. This is especially troubling when there’s more republican atrocities revealed each and ever news cycle.

Yesterday we find out Devin Nunes, a sitting congressman in a key oversight committee, is promising donors the GOP will impeach Rosenstein, something they have adamantly denied in public. Today we find out republicans are blocking documents that would prove their latest Supreme pick is an extreme pick and may have been an accomplice to Bush’s torture. There’s a constant barrage of egregious wrongdoing, not Hey, geeh, I hope Trump gets off on a technicality so our sociopathic president can continue dismantling our republic. The juxtaposition is astounding. And republicans are not trying to impeach Rosenstein for some perceived bias, but to end the Russia probe outright and save our criminal-in-chief from justice. You are incredibly gullible if you think otherwise. The real news is out there, my friend, please find some.

If it’s necessary to farm out this one aspect of this incredibly complicated investigation, I hope for all of our sakes it happens. Keep in mind, you are still betting on the shadiest president in history over one of the most impeccable characters in our intelligence community. And you will lose, again, but the distraction will work, again. Reince.Priebus.Repeat. Sorry, I miss that one.

And finally, you grossly misrepresent the Resistance movement. Most of us have identified the real threat to our republic, so we are attempting to destroy the virus that is currently destroying our republic. Meanwhile, you and your ilk remain complicit in defending the indefensible. You are Trump enablers. Presumably you do this to keep the nation’s abortion level—which is thankfully down—at and about the same level, yet less safe for the mother. Nice. Meanwhile, the pending war with Iran and the next economic collapse will be delegated directly to your karma. You are selling out your country for a lie and it’s time you came to terms with that fact. Stick that in your pipe and Trumpet.


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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.