Ouija Session Reportedly “Very Fustratting” for Dyslexic Ghost

Ouija Session Reportedly "Very Fustratting" for Dyslexic Ghost

Ann Arbor, MI—As part of a sleep over, a group of teenage girls climbed into the Miller’s attic on June 16th and held an over four hour Ouija session with one of the residence’s ghosts. The paranormal entity later described the event as “fukcing ecxcruciatting” for a tortured soul who sufferers from dyslexia.

Discord reporter, Cokie McGrath, believes the ghost in question has resided in the attic where the game took place since his untimely death, nearly 80 years ago. The apparition stated he would rather be left alone than be assailed by a bunch of teenagers who, after hundreds of questions, still couldn’t figure out that yes/no questions worked best.

The young ladies, who wished to remain anonymous, were perplexed by the ghost’s indecipherable responses such as, “I have servere dylslexia” and “I deid in this vrey place” and finally, “Why don’t you bithces play somehting eles?!”

The young lady who hosted the party told McGrath she believes the ghost wasn’t murdered, but added, “He sure can murdre the English language. Get it…murdre?”

After the comment the ghost is planning to “Huant that littel shit for ettenrity!”

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.