My thought for today is this:

It’s a message to some of my Facebook friends, particularly those whose posts are various self-identified Republicans…all of whom have exactly the same opinion…their party’s opinion…

Indeed, these social site wizards all have the identical position on:

God, immigration, climate change, the economy, the death penalty, the healthcare system, the education system, home ownership, taxation, big business, the legal system, NASA, the military, Iraq, Iran, 9/11, Islam, Israel, ethnic minorities, homosexuality, drugs, political campaign funding, gun laws, alternative energy, social programs, welfare, abortion and marriage.

There are simply no different positions among them and we’re talking about nearly half of the United States of fucking America. The incongruity of this can be emphasized by noting that most of the positions they take are based upon logic so twisted and faulty as to be indefensible. 

This is not dissimilar to anyone who would submit an article to the Daily Discord for publication, which this is certainly is not. Meanwhile, observing these ongoing posts in Facebook-land, I’ve formed the following conclusion:

Republicans have no opinion or individualism at all—they appear to be so in need of belonging to something that they’ve abrogated any self-awareness they might ever have had—and have instead reduced themselves to reiterating the same crap over and over again, becoming indistinguishable from one another: effectively, they’ve turned into spambots, complete caricatures of one another.

I suggest, therefore, that they create a Facebook page on which they get together and post all this nonsense, so that the rest of us can unfollow it. Foxbook? Pindisinterest?  I’m not a huge liberal fan either, but at least occasionally there’s some glimmer of insight from those Prius driving, do-gooders.

Take for instance, the republican argument on anthropogenic climate change. It’s not dissimilar to the religious right’s “pro life” stance, implying that those supporting the right to have abortions is “pro death”. I think you’ll find that most non-republicans, when talking about climate change, will say that there are many factors contributing to it, not all of which are understood, and that it’s entirely possible, or even probable, that it’s anthropogenic.  Oh, and don’t link to that article where you say something similar to this Zano! Don’t do it!

Zano Climate Change link here.

He did it, didn’t he? BASTARD!

But to sit there and deny that man might be influencing climate change, beyond all reason, because it suits a political agenda if it isn’t, is just so pathetically idiotic…

Frankly, neither “side” is capable of realizing that reality doesn’t care what they believe: it does what it does without giving a fuck about the Republicans or the Democrats… but the idea of solving any given problem, purely on its own merits, without recourse to mind-numbing dogma has apparently eluded them all.

And don’t post one of your cartoons at the end of this either.

Where Climate Change Is Likely to Hit the Hardest Even the GOP’s frontal lobes are toast, people. It’s that pervasive.

He did it again, didn’t he?

All right Zano, it’s been a while since I responded to your political musings, but it’s taken me nearly a week to get that last bad post of yours out of my mouth. Thank you, Tums! So if the government uses tax money to engage in activities that conflict with a tax payer’s conscience, they should be legally compelled to give birth control to employees? …or bake cakes for gay weddings? …or purchase health insurance? Really? And to make matters worse, all these things happened last weekend at your hacienda of hedonism! I’m sure my lack of an invitation was an oversight on your part. But I see you invited my sister, dick.

You also argue that the IRS violated no laws in targeting conservative groups. You said they should have expected such treatment since ‘teaparty’ groups sought to shut down the IRS. So you say that it doesn’t matter what the administration calls “terrorists” just so long as they kill them? I had another point about your Walmart midget comment, but I will save that for another post. Onward to the main three!

Point 1: The government spends tax money on activities that may well conflict with one’s conscience.

Take the Iraq War, for instance…no really, take it. We must expect that the government can legally force a person to violate their conscience. I’m glad you brought this point up, because it requires clarification. The government cannot force a person to directly violate their conscience. It can take tax money from me to be used to wage a war that I find immoral, but the government cannot force me to directly engage in the fighting of this war. They may draft me and force me to help in the efforts, say as a medic or a chaplain, and the same thing goes for birth control. Although I would not agree with this policy, it would not be unconstitutional to collect taxes and use that money to pay for birth control and abortions; however, the government does not have the right to force me to directly pay for birth control or abortions. They do not have the right to force me to directly contribute to a gay wedding through cake baking, musical performance, or catering. And although this point is slightly different, I would argue the government has a constitutional right to collect tax money to pay for health insurance for people, but they do not have the right to force me to directly purchase health insurance under the threat of penalty of law. If you recall, the Obama administration bent over backward to assure us that the “penalty” was not a “tax”, even though the IRS collects the penalty.

Point 2: The IRS Targeted Republican Groups:

Speaking of the IRS, you flippantly justified their agents targeting conservative groups by writing, “It’s group wanted to shut down the agency that I work for and they were looking for a tax break to do it, ‘Uh, oops what happened to that application?”

The same thing probably happened to those emails. This statement of yours, Zano, shows your argument’s flaw and the essential the flaw in your evaluation of the Obama administration. The Tea Party didn’t just want to shut down the IRS, it wanted to shut down the Obama Presidency as a whole. So by your very “reasoning” (quotes added to incite annoyance), you would look the other way (which you are obviously doing). There is real wrongdoing if the Obama Administration gave the signal to its thugs to target his political adversaries, since they were looking to shut him down.

Point 3: Let’s Placate the Terrorists

My point was not to complain about Obama’s refusal to call a “terrorist” a “terrorist”, although that is an issue, it’s not my issue; and you, by making it my issue have sidetracked my point. I complained that by blaming the terrorist attack on a video, the administration emboldened our enemies, which we have obviously been doing throughout the Obama Presidency. The Obama Administration was directed to blame the attack on the video rather than the people who did the attacking. The video was “hateful and offensive” (Susan Rice), “reprehensible and disgusting” (Jay Carney), “disgusting and reprehensible” (Hillary Clinton, who should have used a thesaurus), and “two thumbs down” (Siskel and Ebert). And these are just the responses to your last post, Zano (ba dum bump).

The administration should not have ever mentioned the video as being a fault in the attack. That’s making an excuse. What was the cause of the Benghazi attack? Plain and simple, it was Islamic fascists. I don’t care how they justify their violence–Israeli apartheid, the great Satan’s U.S. foreign policy, a reprehensible novel, an offensive cartoon maker, or even the Ghetto Shaman’s The Tao of Skullfucking (although I stand by parts of chapter four). It’s all just an excuse, perpetuated by our leaders who are pushing this narrative that ultimately emboldens terrorism.

I have speculated that the Obama Administration has embraced the “reprehensible movie” narrative for its own self-serving reasons. I realize that this is just speculation, but it makes the most sense to me. Leading up to the 2012 elections, President Obama was promoting his “we’ve greatly weakened terrorism throughout the world” theme as a prime selling point for his upcoming election. A terrorist attack on the anniversary of 9/11 didn’t fit his PR campaign so he got everybody on board to blame the attack on the video rather than the terrorists. That’s the point Zano, and you’re refusal to accept this point makes you a “denier.”

More importantly, my sister is not going to your next party unless I am invited. Her words, not mine.

The following rant was initially submitted to the Arizona Daily Sun by Dr. Kwela Juluka. It was rejected for its edgy harshness and, perhaps, because it was caked in a mysterious layer of white power. So he sent it our way because he knows this rag fosters such bouts of edgy harshness…and he also knows we snort anything. I have since asked Dr. J to consider becoming a regular contributor here at The Discord, as this remains one of the best places to foment such edgy harshness as to allow such rants to eventually encompass all the remaining synonyms for harsh and edgy….uh, hedgy?

Here’s the submission:

Having lived through the past dozen years with my ears pummeled by the increasingly brutal cacophony of modern politics, I can say in all certainty that I am nauseated with the nonsense that rings in the media about the present crisis in Iraq: seeping from the mouths of those such as Sen John McCain, who glorify war.

A casual reading of any historical summary of Iraq will convince even the most partisan hacks among us that the country is, at the very least, a seething cesspool chock full of the worst elements of the crusades, Mexican cartels, the 19th century US Calvary, and Ebola. For 1400 years, the factions in that region have been beheading one another over the rightful heir(s) to the second coming of Jesus, a fiction that, for instance, commands a father to stone his child to death for being logical. Following the only major terrorist attack on US soil in the past 20 years due to our leadership’s failure to pay attention to real intelligence information, the Bush administration deliberately fabricated new intelligence, with most of us then, blinded by self-righteous vindictiveness, were suckered by snake oil.

But soon, some of us regained our senses, only to become dehumanized as unpatriotic leftist extremists while “victory” was declared. Now we have the McCains, Rumsfelds, Cheneys, and other ophidians that disturbed the bees (and in the process destroyed our economy), insisting we slither into the hive again. These lethal pretenders to leadership should have their mouths washed with bleach and sewn forever closed on matters of war. Their venom should never again pollute our sensibilities.

Dr. Kwela Juluka

Tell us how you really feel Doc? As ISIS captured city after Iraqi city, Dr. J was obviously deeply troubled with the recent charade on Fox. Frankly, I was never angrier after their coverage. And when I use adverbs frankly Mr. Winslow is never angrier. Maybe they should change their logo to:

Fox News: Let’s keep asking what idiots think.

But kudos to Megyn Kelly for calling out Dick Cheney on his Horseshit. She was the only bright spot last week. Her station, meanwhile, chose to just show 2007 Surge justification quotes (SJQ) in the guise of insight (my take here).  In some ways this particular brand of their revisionist history is the most offensive yet. Hopefully it will only act to further expose their master plan. Regardless of the facts on the ground, they will continue to try to shift everything, even their greatest blunders, into another flight suit moment beneath some metaphorical Mission Accomplished banner. The Republican Party is an utter farce and the more people who realize this the better. It’s not just that some of the stuff they peddle is bullshit, it’s that everything is either outright lies, trivial, meaningless or some combination thereof.

I’ll end with a marvelous quote about this constant pile of “bullpuckey” being pushed by the right wing media:

“They are happy to tell each other, for years, that this stuff is news, and not just stuff that they made up, while the real media—and frankly the politicians who have to swim in that sewer—have to worry about this parallel track of paranoid fake information that traffics as news on the American political right, but that is disproven everywhere else outside their echo chamber.”

—Rachel Maddow, 7/8/14

Rachel Maddow’s rant on July 8^th was marvelous.  She covered how the right wing media convinced a huge faction of our society to question our real news and instead believe this new conservative brand of crapolla. She then ended the segment by explaining how this has a direct correlation to the sad, sad place our country now finds itself. For years, I have called this the story within the story of our time, but frankly Mr. Winslow that last frankly was from Rachel. Notice the quotes, sir! So, frankly, you can’t hold that one against me.

Have you heard about this Quinnipiac poll? Thirty three percent of those polled claim Obama is the worst president in history. It’s damning, unless you have a basic understanding of today’s society. Everyone is ignoring the irre-elephant in the room. The numbers are entirely predictable. Nearly 40% of our country are Foxeteers and they keep polling themselves to remind us of how strongly and wrongly they all agree. But where is the other 7%? Should we send out a search party? Should I turn on the Batshit signal again?

This poll is more of a collective case study for a dysfunctional ideology than anything else—the Scheissgeist, as it were, which I believe is German for Vote Hillary 2016.  As for our current State of the Union, history will clearly say something more pythonesque, aka, something completely different. Scholars and historians have a way of being scholarly and historical. Funny how that works.

Here’s a more realistic summary of Obama’s final judgment.

Barack Obama: Descent President, Horrible Congress

The Foxteers need to understand, even with their current War on Math, how a 7% approval rating is worse than 40%. And much of Obama’s 40% approval rating can be attributed to that same not-so-magnificent seven. Seven is the lowest in the history of polling, Rasmussen.

Also, when judging Obama we need to keep in mind most of the criticism on the right is entirely fictitious. Quick scandal review:

1. Damning and impeachable but not linked to Obama (The IRS).

Fun Fact: Bush targeted liberals, here, and no one cared.  Republicans want to impeach Obama for the same reason, but can’t actually prove any link to the White House.  Hey, why not just try to impeach Obama for breaking into the Watergate Hotel?

2. Doesn’t make any sense whatsoever (Benghazi).

My latest coverage here. If this scandal does make sense to you, ask your doctor if an injectable anti-psychotic is right for you.

3. A real genuine scandal (NSA).

Hint: most real shit can directly be attributed to republican policies.

(Fun Fact: it’s harder to impeach someone after you make it legal.)

Fox knows this fact, which is why their always forced to refocus their energies on bullshit.

Meanwhile, Obama’s biggest mistake was thinking he could work with these people. The rest of us have watched as the GOP splintered into a hodgepodge of dangerously misguided ideologies. The splintering of conservative groups into two camps, let’s call them Jeff Daniels and Jim Carey, will only hurt them in future elections. That’s good news for people who like to eat and live and stuff.

More are taking notice of their descent into madness:

“The sense that you could stick it to the liberals by being utterly indifferent to reality actually grew worse on the right after Bush left office, starting with the adoption of Sarah Palin as a right-wing hero. Palin represents this new era of treating the truth like it’s a horrible force of oppression trying to squelch conservative America.”

—Amanda Marcotte, Why does the Right Embrace Ignorance as a Virtue?

At this point this is not a treatable condition. As I’ve said before, we are watching a faction of our society de-evolve before our very eyes. This is causing a predictable backlash of poorly behaving liberals. I’m afraid we passed the polarization point of no return, but ultimately it comes down to this:

“Bad behaviors are now rampant on both sides of the political aisle, but liberals have one thing republicans don’t, valid points.”

—Mick Zano (today)

Well, Mr. Zano, then how should Obama be rated?

Good question, imaginary person. In 2008, I said I would rate his presidency on two things.

1. Domestically

His ability to avoid a double dip recession (essentially a 2nd game-ending global economic collapse).

So far CHECK

2. Foreign Policy

His ability to end wars and avoid new ones, especially of the WWIII variety—if you recall, things were ramping up between Iran and the U.S. at the end of the Bush years.

So far CHECK

Sounds easy? A republican would fail both.

“My prediction on inauguration day was this: Obama would do poorly on the economic front and well on foreign policy.  He has done a little better on the economic front than anticipated.”

Full Zano feature here.

I always thought Obama would have a much tougher time domestically, but he’s been a bit of an overachiever in this area and, as for his foreign policy, he is doing much better than people give him credit.  Many on the right blame Obama for everything going wrong in the world today, but I knew the Middle East would get worse before it got shittier. Thankfully, so did Obama. As an important bullshit journalist, I stand by my foreign policy coverage and predictions. I even went out onto some rickety limbs, like on Syria, yet I’m still hanging on.

If you look at Obama’s top 25 campaign promises, he’s done pretty well. Here’s the PolitiFact score card.  The only three issues that there’s been little movement on is:

1. Closing Guantanamo:

He tried, I blame Congress.

2. Creating a foreclosure prevention fund for homeowners:

There’s no excuse. Please bailout the people not just the banks, sir.

3. Reeling in lobbyists:

Fun Fact: no one will accomplish this EVER, at least under our current system of government.

He’s either accomplished the rest, or he’s making some progress—another exception might be Immigration Reform—but he does have a better PoltiFact score than his predecessor, here. And, hell, he aint done yet. Can you say “executive orders”? I knew you could.

Domestically, all economic indicators have shifted positively over the course of his tenor, admittedly not as robustly as many would like but in my opinion it was the best we could hope for under the circumstances. Europe and the rest of the world is actually recovering more slowly from Bush, but we’re all on borrowed time at this point. Meanwhile, Despite Republican opposition, Obamacare has started to bring down healthcare costs across the board, so more people are insured for less money. Republican translation = America died.

Also, Obama is the only president in recent history to avoid any major scandal. Admittedly, his pile of imaginary ones have had a real effect on this approval numbers. Fox News’ fuck reality approach has had a clear impact on this man’s legacy. This sounds absurd, but I don’t think Obama can afford another imaginary scandal. And you just know several more are in the works, or: GOP Scandal Factory in Honduras Collapses, Killing 47.

As predicted on inauguration day, Obama will end up ranked somewhere in the middle. Bush is near the bottom and will likely drop further as people come to terms with the irreparable damage he has caused. But there is some good news W., you don’t have far to drop. Sorry, GOP but all of the Foxian bat guano in the world isn’t going to change this eventuality. I maintain that stepping into what Obama did and ranking somewhere in the middle is still an impressive feat, at least for those of us who understood the time period and the historical context involved. Republicans obviously don’t. For a current example, go to Fox News or The Drudge Report, right now, and read a headline, any headline. Then you can laugh a little and cry little, but whatever you do don’t believe any of it. The country you save may be your own.   

Now that the mastermind behind the Benghazi attack is in custody and has allegedly cited the video as the main impetus…uh, who cares? As Hillary said, “Why does it matter?” This was extrapolated by Fox to mean, “Why does it matter four Americans died?” They did this because they lie. That’s not news; they lie every news cycle, but what’s always been interesting to me about this particular “scandal” is how little sense it makes, even by typical Fox News standards. Heh, heh…Fox News standards.

No attempt to make this a scandal has worked and, remember, the GOP came at this from more angles than Pythagoras on crack, during his OCD period. Fox News’s last angle, the Obama knew all along it wasn’t the video that triggered the attack, just collapsed. So even their inane, picky nonsensical shit that no one understands (IPNSTNOU) isn’t panning out. The GOP is like Felix Unger with ADHD, after the head injury episode. Apparently, in several private conversations, Khatallah moved up the attack date after being enraged by an American anti-Islam video, or:

“So, of course, the attacks were linked to the dozens of other embassies overrun on the same day. If the GOP can’t connect those dots, we’re going to need some bigger dots. That is why the attack fell right on movie-trailer night. They used the riots as an excuse…you know, to do the old fake yawn and reach around thing. You think this just happened at the precise moment all of those other protests?”

—Mick Zano, 11/19/12

Isn’t it time to hold republicans accountable for their lies? My quote came soon after the attacks and, let’s be clear, I don’t really care about this part. Who would? Yet, the people who studied this shit, for years, still couldn’t create anything meaningful out of their bullshit, or:

Dear Rick Santorum,

Maybe it’s republicanism, not homosexuality that leads to bestiality…uh, because you people seem to always screw the pooch.

Sincerely,

Reality.

P.S. Wag more, bark less. Woof.

I don’t care about being right, I care that these same wing-nuts are now in position to win the midterms. Imposition? The imposition, here we go, the imposition, what a show. What movie?

Here’s a review of the real culpability on Benghazi:

1. Republicans chose to defund embassy security about a year before the attack.

(I guess hindsight is AK-47.)

2. This ongoing Benghazi distraction greatly diminished the death of Ambassador Stevens and his life’s work, here. And, as a direct result of Project Issa, 21 embassies have closed across the Middle East.

(Hey, but saving on embassy security reduced the deficit by .0000001, while greatly increasing the likelihood of another war, aka, another win win for our fiscally conservative neocons.)

3. The right all but ended the promising career of Susan Rice, not out of some misunderstanding, but from sheer bullshit, aka, the fuel of choice over at the Fox Nation

(Keystone Poopline?)

Fun fact: Republicans no longer require facts, fun or otherwise.

4. Republicans have, once again, wasted millions of tax payer’s dollars on legal fees, special committees, and Obama voodoo dolls. Shouldn’t they pay us back?

(…with interest?)

(Close Guantanamo and open GOPtanamo? Kidding, why feed them? It’s a welfare program.)

The only small difference between my list and theirs is this: reality. These are all facts. Essentially, Bush showed us how ineffective broader military campaigns can be and, now, his friends are making Obama’s weapon of choice, diplomacy, a much harder proposition. I guess having fewer embassy attacks on your watch and then bringing those responsible to justice is the new republican definition of incompetence.

All of the right’s arguments on this “scandal” have been dismantled, which only seems to embolden them. It’s like a wounded animal, on ludes. Here’s what’s next from a stronger, wronger Fox:

Is Obama “Fixing” Khatallah’s Confession?

Amnesty Deal in the Works for Benghazi Mastermind?

The Truth Won’t Stop Next Issa Investigation

Was Hillary Watching Twilight Marathon During Benghazi?

Honestly, I think that last one is true. I have Googled the dates. Hillary, prepare for this one in the debates.

Today, Fox News is interviewing the evil genius known as Alberto Gonzalez—in your spare time, please remove the word genius—about this matter, here. Will the right’s infatuation with people who suck ever end? (Hint: no.) That would start a dumbino effect and could lead to something called rationality. My 2008 dismantling of Bush’s Attorney General, here.

Conservatives should be happy Khattalah was brought to justice—and, if they cared about embassy security, they should fund it next time. If such things mattered to them, wouldn’t they know how many attacks occurred under Bush? Incidentally, no one does, because when you factor in Baghdad, the number is too high to track. Back then their excuse was “we’re fighting them there so we didn’t have to fight them here.” Of course, the they in question weren’t there, until we went there. Now, hear ye, hear ye, they are there…uh …but here? Them’s the facts. And, the only ones who never seem to notice when their arguments fall apart, is them. There, I said it.

Case in point, Iraq is now Obama’s fault. Who knew? My take here.

In the end, it doesn’t matter. The right wing media desperately wanted to create a false reality and, at this point, they have succeeded. On a national scale my arguments are clearly losing ground. It doesn’t mean they’re wrong, it just means propaganda is often more effective. This may come as a shock to some of you, but O’Reilly is beating me in all timeslots, for all age groups, in all places on earth…except maybe Portlandia. Woot! Meanwhile, on behalf of reality: you all owe Ambassador Stevens and Susan Rice an apology…oh, and while you’re at it, ME! I could have obviously spent my time more wisely.

[Midget porn joke omitted by the editor.]

Today the New York Post is running a story suggesting Hillary didn’t believe it was the video that triggered the attack, here. This is what worries me—at times Hillary seems to be more neocon than a liberal. Sometimes there isn’t nearly as much light between her and republicans as I would like. She is distancing herself from Obama for all the wrong reasons. She knows the right’s fantasy narrative is gripping our nation, so she’s feeding into it in the hopes of some political gain. She’s a sellout. I don’t think we need to distance ourselves from issues that Obama got right.

But lest we forget this Fox News gem:

Fox News: “We Stand By Our Reporting On Benghazi”

Well, I too stand by my coverage of this issue, here, here, and here. And, once again, I beat an entire network of goofballs. Look, uh…if I’m a spoof news blogger, what exactly are you people supposed to be? I’m afraid republicans have broken the Flynn Effect over their dunce caps.

Okay. I’ll end with another of my nuggets, only because the last IF in this little equation was finally answered today and, as usual, the right is wrong on all counts. Lucky for them, they can’t count.

Did you see the parade of war criminals surface all across the Fox Nation this week? You know, the ones who never got anything right about Iraq and should be in jail? They have more advice now that Iraq is descending into a civil war. Fox also started running endless 2007 republican Surge-justification-quotes (SJQ). Here’s the thing, saying Iraq will fall apart without U.S. support in 2007 is kind of like Churchill, instead of his famous 1940 speech, saying, “You know, I think Hitler’s up to something.”

Here’s the first wisdom nugget:

“You could see in the Shia south, the Iranians reaching over and grabbing to take power. You could see in the Sunni northwest, the Al-Qaeda folks taking power and leadership in that area.”

—Mitt Romney (2007)

Fox says this was so “eerily accurate” that he must have had a “time machine”. I would like to add that, because he’s a republican, he must have set the controls wrong on that thing. Uh…because most of us figured that shit out back in ‘04, three years earlier. Romney’s ‘insight’ is like saying, “you know, the Alamo is going to be really nasty” while a guest on Anderson Cooper tonight.

Here’s the 2^nd wisdom nugget:

President Bush’s Dire Warning Ignored! Tell us more, oh Nostradumbass

Well, look who’s still talking? Make no mistake, republican’s revisionist history for this time period is now complete. Their conclusion: if only we’d listened to George W. Bush on Iraq. Sadly, it’s really no worse than the rest of their conclusions. I guess we can close that chapter from The World According to GOP. How about this one, Bush Accurately Predicts Own Incompetence on Handling of Iraq, or, better yet:

What they lack in brains, they make up for in balls. Republicans are so far beyond absurd, they can no longer even see absurd from their flying unicorns. The Iraq War is something I got right, not in 2007, in two thousand & fucking two. More importantly it’s one of the things Obama got right, in fact, it’s why he’s president. Forgot that part, huh? It’s also why I chose Obama over Hillary. So to hear a bunch of architects of one of the greatest foreign policy blunders in our nation’s history say “told you so” is astounding, even by normal republican delusional standards (NRDS).

NERDS!!! Wait, we are the nerds and the jocks…so republicans are the, uh, I’m going to have to peruse my high school yearbook and get back to you.

Colin Powell warned Bush, “You break it, you bought it” and “you know you’re going to own this place, right?” That doesn’t excuse his anthrax performance, but it still shows some insight, which was sorely lacking with that bunch.

But everyone knew by 2007—even republicans knew—there were no good answers in Iraq by 2007. It’s that same time delay I keep talking about. It takes years before information is properly processed by…oh, who am kidding? They can’t process information.

Admittedly, Romney’s speech lays out one important detail, and details are often lacking in the GOP’s foreign policy rhetoric. His sage like advice from that quote on Iraq also included:

“Handle carefully.”

—Mitt Romney (2007)

I’m not kidding, that was the only advice after he stated the obvious. So we didn’t handle Iraq carefully between 2003 to 2013. Damn it, guys! I said bomb the shit out of Baghdad, carefully. Maybe Iraq needed a giant warning label scrawled across the country, Handle with Care, or the Shiite could hit the Fallujah. Or, maybe, with the aid of drone strikes, we could have spelled out Fragile, so Palin could see it from her house. I think historians will be wrestling with questions like this forever, well, historians from the Heritage Foundation on ‘shrooms.

The “eerily accurate” quotes our friends on the right keep citing this week come from the ramp-up to the “Surge”, which I felt only acted as a Bushian human shield—you know, so he could quietly sneak away to go paint, or clear brush, or conduct some other task more suitable to his relative skill set, or:

“The closing of the American Mind under Rove’s direction seems almost complete. The Republican Party, however, has brought the concept of denial to levels unrealized since Pee Wee Herman’s dream of a new unsupervised playhouse.  Now, the catastrophic decisions by Bush and co. are swept away by the success of ‘the surge,’ which equates to a billion dollar a week pause button in the endless clusterfuck that is the Iraq War.”

—Mick Zano (2008)

Unfortunately this site only goes back to 2008, but here’s a fun Iraqi review:

1. Bush lied and started a war (see Downing Street memo).

2. The resistance to the occupiers escalated after we disbanded the whole Iraqi army (fun fact: they’re now an important part of ISIS).

3. Another fun fact: ISIS is the Egyptian Goddess of what are republicans smoking.

4. We propped up a Shiite, Maliki, who hates Sunnis. Who could have foreseen that that would become an issue? (Fun fact: he tried to have his Sunni VP killed, which was all part of Bush’s: Operation Iraq 1776).

5. Regional ethnic cleansing began, neighborhood by neighborhood (fun fact: Sunnis Shiites and republicans were all cool with this because they stopped shooting at Americans for a brief period. Winning!)

6. Years later, the election of Maliki bolstered Iran’s position and power in the region, which is still true today (Fun fact: isn’t that fun enough?)

7. During a pause in the civil war, at the conclusion of this ethnic cleansing, Bush “Surged” by sending more troops under Operation: please just kill each other not our troops long enough so I can leave office.

8. Al-Qaeda, who were never even in Iraq under Saddam, moved into the vacuum of power (this started under Bush and continued under Obama, which, of course = impeach Obama).

9. The marginalized Sunni’s waited very patiently to take revenge on the Shiite majority (this was set to begin whenever the fuck we wised up and left).

10. Civil War is beginning now (see: duh).

11. We reached number 11! Because my tutorials go to eleven! If that weren’t enough, the whole invasion sparked a more regional Sunni Shiite war across the Middle East, predicated by many before we invaded, including Bush’s daddy. But Bush Jr. has daddy issues so as a result hundreds of thousands of people died. (Fun fact: this example is the only time Freud was ever right about something psychological.)

So let me get this straight, the guy who didn’t want us to invade Iraq in the first place, Obama, is now wrong and the people who figured out we were fucked, a few years later than anyone else, are the new brain trusts? Really? Is that what the history books will say? Hey, why not add Bush and Jesus riding into Baghdad on dinosaurs? What? Too soon?

Reality Check:

A few years back during my 21^st century scorecard, out of 14 of the most important issues of our time, the GOP only got one full point for “The Surge”, but with this caveat:

“Oh, and when Iraq completely descends back into chaos, I’m taking that “Surge” point back! I hope to hell it doesn’t happen, but I have to contend with something they don’t, reality.”

—Mick Zano

Today, I’m taking back that point, right on cue. So the republican collective has yet to get any significant issue right…in this century! Hell, most real issues aren’t even identified yet by this bunch, story here. See my full two-parter takedown here, part 1 and part 2. Every word still rings true, especially the part about Smurfs. Hint: my comments tend to remain valid while their comments typically have a shorter shelf life than the Mad Cow meatloaf over at the Roadkill Café.

You can’t take something you totally got wrong and try to twist it into some type of anti-Obama argument. Oh, that’s right, that’s all you do. But this is offensive to those of us who got it right before the war and, especially, those who served and suffered because of these lies and blunders. As I have repeated ad infinitum, we will never change the mind of a single Foxeteer—that, in and of itself, is part of the problem. So, more importantly, we need to work together to keep them out of office. Organize for the midterms. Register as a Democrat and then, some day, when we once again have two viable parties in this country, you can switch back to independent. Until then, Go Hillary!