Ahhh, Thus The The Delay In Releasing The Royal Baby Pictures

London, ENG—Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex, have welcomed their new baby ….something or other. The latest arrival joins the royal family seventh in line to the throne, well, that was until moments ago. British Intelligence is reporting that the other six individuals ahead of baby Squidward’s claim to the throne are all currently missing and presumed devoured. Thus far the Queen is downplaying the disappearances and what appears to be the baby’s profound precognetic abilities, which those close to the Queen say has already, “Ruined Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, and the next seven Wimbledons.”

The Queen has attempted to quell fears further today with an official statement to the press, “There is no danger here. If my great grandchild is naughty and wants to enslave the human race to use as a food source, I will simply ground his suction-cup covered ass.”

Several Men in Black were seen entering Buckingham Palace earlier today, and eye witnesses claim at least one of the MIBs was carrying “the flashy thingie.”


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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.