Tag Archive for hilllary clinton

The Pantsuit Prophecies: Hillary Hate & Her Scandals Deciphered

moby-dick-hillary

 

How is a Trump Administration still a thing in November 2016? Extinction is fine, I suppose, if you’re into that sort of thing. Why are patriotic people so bent on our destruction? Some of you are saying, “It’s all of the Hillary scandals!” You are correct, you simply neglected to add the word ‘bullshit’ before the word scandals. The Hillary witch hunt is perhaps the greatest affront to reason in the 21st century, and that’s saying something when republican’s comment on stuff everyday. I find myself in the strange position of defending the Great White Pantsuit. A summary of her scandals range from no wrong doing, all the way to very little wrongdoing. Wow. You do know she’s a politician, right? Can we at least agree on that much? There’s no way anyone in history could withstand this kind of decade-after-decade scrutiny, yet she remains strong. Let’s compare her with the best R president in the last fifty years, who illegally funded the Iran Contras and helped create Al-Qaeda. Out of respect, I left out his questionable performance in Bedtime For Bonzo. Hillary would have created Al-Qaeda, but she was too busy creating ISIS.