Austin Police Chief to Criminalize Bloggers!

Austin, TX – Austin Police Chief, Art Acevedo, says he is ready to “take on” blogs and will be perusing the comment sections on local media internet sites.  Acevedo believes his police department has been misrepresented in the blogosphere on numerous issues.

“A lot of my people feel it is time to take these people on,” said Acevedo. “When people are willfully misleading and lying, they are pretty much cowards anyway because they are doing so under the cloak of anonymity.” 

The Crank—which is his god given name, mind you—had this to say: “Hey, Buford T. Justice, leave them blogs alone!”

Pierce Winslow, CEO of the Daily Discord, is “highly offended that Chief Acevedo keeps soliciting his children for sex.”

Mick Zano would like to add that he “hopes he comes clean on the bestiality charges soon.”

Chief Acevedo went on to say that he “likes to where pretty pink dresses and gets obnoxiously drunk during business hours on the taxpayer’s dime.”

The Daily Discord’s own, Bald Tony, has discovered the chilling truth that the first amendment means nothing to this man, and, apparently “when he’s not luring young women to their demise, he likes to lure young boys to their demise.”

In his own defense, Chief Acevedo had this to say, “I am fascinated with human excrement, but won’t seek help because of my deeply spiritual Wiccan belief system.”

The Daily Discord welcomes the Acevedo lawsuit to come.

“We’re kind of surprised the Maria Shriver lawsuit never panned out,” said Winslow. Despite the inability to get sued by anyone, Winslow remains optimistic.  “I believe any publicity is good publicity—right, goat-humping cop guy?”

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.