Ryongsong, KP—The Sony debacle involving the latest Rogen production and North Korea, The Interview, has left many scratching their heads. Upon further consideration, Sony is now deciding to play the film as not to cave to terroristic threats. In light of the news, President Obama has resolved to send Seth Rogen and James Franco to North Korea to apologize and to explain the situation to Kim Jong Un, personally.
When it was pointed out how sending the two comedians parallels the plot line of the actual movie, President Obama said, “I never noticed that. But, no, this is a friendly trip. These are comedians, not assassins. We want to start talks with North Korea and, remember, the word “ass” is in “ambassador” and the word “dip” is in “diplomacy”. So we’re just sending a couple of ass dips on a diplomatic mission. Hey, it’s no worse than my latest pick for Ambassador to Hungary.”
Obama continued, “The leader of North Korea needs to know this is a just low-brow comedy. The Un-ster needs to Un-sterstand—God I’m going to kill my teleprompter again—anyway, Kim Jong Un needs to realize that parody is the greatest form of flattery and who better to explain this to the Supreme Leader than Seth and James themselves?”
When the President was asked about his recent statement, “We will respond proportionally in the time and place of our choosing,” Obama said, “Yeah, responding in a good way, like sending a Christmas card or something.”
Rogen and Franco are downplaying their series of meetings with CIA operatives as well as former Vice President Dick Cheney himself. Rogen explained, “The CIA was just telling us the dos and don’ts while visiting with his supremeness, like I shouldn’t smoke pot in his presence. But if I do, I definitely shouldn’t blow the smoke in his face. Stuff like that.”
When asked about their meeting with Dick Cheney, James Franco said, “That was just to get us used to visiting with a truly evil person. He didn’t give us any advice about how to shake the hand of the Kim Jong Un. The CIA explained that…no, wait, they didn’t! Mulligan!”