Dear Ghetto Shaman,

I started this with Dear Douchebag, so if it says “Dear Ghetto Shaman” above this, I knew it!!

Gerbs

Dear Douchebag,

Never go up against an established columnist with the power of editorial license. And please pick up a copy of my latest book Expressing Gratitude Through Violence at no additional discount to you.

Sincerely,

The Ghetto Shaman

P.S. You’re supposed to ask a question, douchebag.  See?  You can’t win.