During Exclusive Interview Coronavirus Admits To “Wanting To Vacate POTUS Quickly”

Tweet Tower—In an exclusive interview, a coronavirus spokesvirus sat down with that Two Ferns guy today to discuss his recent stint inside the President. “Yeah, it felt awful being inside The Donald,” said the virus. “I’ve never come across a more inhospitable host, period. We lost a lot of good viruses in there. The cause of death for most was a crushed spirit. I was in there for about 48-hours, but it felt like 48-years …the shit that guy eats could kill Al Bundy. Anyway, eventually I’m like, you know, I think I’m gonna go visit my aunt over in Hope Hicks. It was nice over there …like a tiptoe through the tulips comparatively. We’re thinking of getting a vacation home over there.”

The president vows to sue the coronavirus for slander, and Attorney General William Barr has already agreed to open an investigation into the matter. Those close to the AG believe he may also go after that Two Ferns guy as well, just because…

 

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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