School Fieldtrip Visits Last Moderate Republican

School Fieldtrip Visits Last Moderate Republican

Augusta, ME—Last week, Mrs. Donavan’s 10th grade class made the trip all the way from Gloucester, Massachusetts to Augusta, Maine to see the last moderate Republican in the country, Senator Susan Collins. The class made the 160-mile journey in a bus that runs on switchgrass, recycled cow manure, and love.

“Senator Collins was wonderful,” said Mrs. Donavan. “She spoke in complete, unbroken sentences and almost made sense on several issues. In other words, by this time next year she’s toast. These children will grow up in a world where Republicans are all barely literate, ultra-conservative Christian soldiers. This was perhaps the last chance for them to actually speak to one…um, who can speak.”

The teacher wanted to expose her students to Real America as well, “But that can be dangerous,” warned Donavan. “I’d planned to follow the bus in my Prius, complete with an Obama/Biden bumper sticker. Have you ever seen a Prius without such a sticker? I believe it’s a law. Anyway, last year I was simply driving through Kansas but each time I slowed down below 65 mph I was fired upon.”

Last May Mrs. Donavan considered taking her class all the way to Woodlands, Texas to visit Congressman Rob Eissler, but the Tea Party had already ejected him just prior to their visit.

“He wasn’t particularly moderate,” said Donovan, “but he was about as close as you were going to get in Texas.”

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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