Washington, DC – After reviewing Bin Laden’s latest attempt at relevancy, September’s National Intelligence Estimate report concludes that he is “still an asshole”. The NIE also warns America that Nancy Pelosi is a scary, scary woman up close. Combine these two events in the same month and you have the first National Threat Level hike since Barney Frank’s You Tube Sex Tape release.
“Thankfully, this is not that serious,” said Homeland Security Director Janet Napolitano, who, upon viewing the Frank tape, commented, “I will never be able to look at the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man the same way again.”
When asked if the picture of Pelosi, depicted above, might reverse the President’s decision to gut missile defense in Eastern Europe, Napolitano responded, “Missile defense whatsas?”