Bin Laden Tape and Pelosi Close-Up Combine to Raise National Threat Level

Washington, DC – After reviewing Bin Laden’s latest attempt at relevancy, September’s National Intelligence Estimate report concludes that he is “still an asshole”.  The NIE also warns America that Nancy Pelosi is a scary, scary woman up close.  Combine these two events in the same month and you have the first National Threat Level hike since Barney Frank’s You Tube Sex Tape release.

“Thankfully, this is not that serious,” said Homeland Security Director Janet Napolitano, who, upon viewing the Frank tape, commented, “I will never be able to look at the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man the same way again.”

When asked if the picture of Pelosi, depicted above, might reverse the President’s decision to gut missile defense in Eastern Europe, Napolitano responded, “Missile defense whatsas?” 

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.