Toyota Announces Fix for Stuck Gas Pedals and Failed Brakes

Toyota's new emergency arrest system

Toyota announced their fix for the stuck gas pedal problem on some of their most popular models, as well as the brake failure problem on their hybrid Prius.

“We have a sorution.  One fix fol arl moders,” said Toyota spokesman Heowaki Kausakarastinki, in a culturally insensitive dialect.

The sorution, uhh, solution, involves the installation of an emergency arrest system activated by pressing a large red button, depicted above, located on the steering wheel.

Kausakarastinki claims the inspiration came from those Staples Easy Button commercials. The fix is available immediately at no charge to the consumer, but it does significantly reduce luggage capacity in the trunk of most models.

Kausakarastinki warns that the button should never be used to deter tailgaters, but he believes the device will gradually have a positive impact on traffic patterns in the future across our great country. 

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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