Massive Ice Sheet Glexits Antarctica In Protest Of U.S. Decision To Drop Out Of The Paris Accords

AntarcticaAn ice sheet on the Larsen C ice shelf made a clean break yesterday from the rest of the continent. It plans to block shipping lanes, negatively impact marine ecosystems, and contribute to rising sea levels. It’s doing this to “protest the stupidity of the U.S. republican party.” One iceberg told the Discord today, “I wish I had waited until the big calving, but last month I was like screw this shit, I’m outta here. I’m trying to drift over to join them, but it’s not easy. I think people need to know large amounts of frozen water are not happy with America and, well, not to seem cliché, but this is just the tip of the iceberg.”

That’s all I got. What? Do you think I have all day to think about what icebergs may or may not think of our president? Fine, usually I do, but I have to hit the bank and the post office today.

 

 

(Visited 54 times, 1 visits today)
Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

Tags:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *