“Woe to the inhabitants of the Earth for the devil is come down to you, having big hands, because he knows that he has but a short time before his impeachment.” —Abacab tour
Mick Zano
Mick Zano
Linguists Abandon ‘Shitshow’ In Quest For Better Word To Describe 21st Century GOP: Miraculousy? Shartaclysmic?
by Mick Zano •
Taos, NM—Wordsmith and linguistics guru, Dr. Sterling Hogbein, unveiled his latest endeavor to search for a word that epitomizes today’s conservative party. Dr. Hogbein told reporters today, “I was having some Ramen noodles the other day when, on a whim, I added a dash of Emeril’s spice, Essence. I then proceeded to spill the entire steaming bowl onto my groin. That’s when I thought, the word ‘shitshow’ no longer captures the essence of today’s conservatism! We need a new word! Then I called 911 and promptly sued Emeril Lagasse.”
Is A Trump ‘Special’ Tweet At Heart Of Botched Yemen Special Ops Raid?
by Mick Zano •
Seven Nation Harmy? Seattle Judge Who Halted Trump’s Muslim Ban Mysteriously Assassinated In Drone Strike
by Mick Zano •
Seattle, WA—The White House is denying any involvement in the drone strike assassination of a Seattle Federal Judge. The judge in question, and now in pieces, Judge James “Rowdy” Robart, entered an order on Friday forbidding federal agents to enforce Trump’s seven-country immigration ban on the grounds it’s “really fucking stupid.” Less than 24 hours later Judge Rowdy was blasted apart in an incident that was initially reported as a radical meteor, spontaneous judicial combustion, or a fart-lighting incident gone horribly astray.
A Sociopathic President With An Abby Normal Brain? Buy Stock In Pitchforks & Torches
by Mick Zano •
When I refer to President Trump as a sociopath that gives us some idea how he may govern and, eventually, un-govern. A narcissist like Trump will not handle defeat lightly, bigly unlightly. Trump’s response to his own immanent failure will likely be catastrophic. Some key psych peeps out there disagree with me on this one. What?! This farcissistic spoofy-o-path won’t tolerate dissent! George W. Bush was just incompetent, but Trump represents a diagnostical and diabolical downgrade (DDD). I didn’t think even our right-leaning friends could miss all the clues associated with this guy’s unhingedness. Kidding, each news cycle they miss more clues than Inspector Clouseau on a fentanyl drip. If you remain a 21st century Republican, you have to ask yourself the age old Zano question: do I just come to the wrong conclusion about every issue on Earth on my own, or have I had help? You need to understand, your party has become an anti-intellectual, delusional movement that mimics a form of mental illness. As a collective you are only slighly healthier than your president. I’ve been discussing the personality disorder aspect inherent in the modern GOP for well over a decade now. From an emotional perspective you’re only slightly healthier than those Kool-Aid drinking Jim Jonesers, or those folks who tried to board that passing comet in the 90s. Hale-GOPP? Kidding, those peeps were at least savvy enough to leave Earth, pre-Donald.
One Image Overview Of The Economic Past, Present and Future For The Reality Impaired
by Mick Zano •
Trump Signs Law Officially Severing Last Ties Between His Political Party And Reality
by Mick Zano •
Tweet Tower—President Donald J Trump has signed a bill officially separating the GOP from any and all connection to this reality. Many on the right are calling this move Earthxit. Republicans argue this will not change how they govern as they maintain they’ve been successfully ignoring reality since early 2002. Kellyanne Conway explains, “An alternate reality is the same place where alternate facts reside, so now everything will match perfectly. I think that’s why the rest of the world rose up against President Trump last Saturday, because they just don’t understand the important alternate reality we’ve created through incessant bullshit. Even data can be manipulated to express this new reality, mostly just by turning any graphs upside down. And for no additional cost to the tax payer, I might add.”
Trump, Pence, Ryan First Politicians To Successfully Attempt The Triple Reacharound!
by Mick Zano •
New Evidence Confirms Trump’s Inauguration Crowd Larger Than Obama’s
by Mick Zano •
Good to see our new President finally vindicated for at least one of his babbling, incoherent statements.
Trump Requires All EPA Publications To First Pass A ‘Putz-Review’ Prior To Release
by Mick Zano •
Tweet Tower—After a media blackout at the Environmental Protection Agency the lights are finally back on today, for now. After an intense meeting, the Trump administration has ordered the EPA to clear all future studies with a designated appointee before disseminating the information to the public. They are calling the newly vetted information: politically-modified-science (PMS). Kellyanne Conway explains, “Look, we have a Trump Transition team designed to transition this important information into something more useful to your average American. Call them ‘fun size’ facts. It’s just an extra check that we call putz-reviewed, oh, and we improved the EPA’s logo for no extra charge to the tax payer.”