Fast & Furious Weapons Found in Benghazi

Mick Zano

Yeah, I’m going there again. Why not? At this point I’m eligible for some frequent blogger miles. We keep learning more and more about Benghazi, well, at least we learn more about the relative mental health of one faction of our society, or the World According to GOP.

Here’s what an extensive New York Times investigation turned up on the embassy attack at Benghazi:

“No evidence that Al Qaeda or other international terrorist groups had any role in the assault. The attack was led, instead, by fighters who had benefited directly from NATO’s extensive air power and logistics support during the uprising against Colonel Qaddafi. And contrary to claims by some members of Congress, it was fueled in large part by anger at an American-made video denigrating Islam.”

David Kirkpatrick

Yep, back to day one…but hasn’t it been a fun imaginary ride? Half the gasoline for this “scandal” involves republicans believing the attack had nothing to do with that anti-Muslim YouTube video that sparked a rash of attacks all across the Muslim world on that same day. Yeah, I can’t make this up. If they can’t connect those dots—A YEAR AND A HALF LATER—we’re going to need bigger dots.

Summary Alert:

“The Middle East is complicated and republicans simply aren’t.”

—Mick Zano

Over at Fox News, as this NYT story broke, they all lost what little was left of their collective minds. Here’s the Fox headlines that day:

Truth Infuriates Batshit Base!

Is the Truth About Benghazi Misleading?

I still like my take the week this shit happened:

This ‘scandal’ is about how we referred to the attackers after the fact and why. Hey, let’s call them Smurf Tacklers. Our embassy was once again assailed by those fucking, towel-headed Smurf Tacklers. Is that going to bring back the dead? Was it ‘extremists’ or ‘terrorists?’ Whaa? I would hate to be killed by terrorists, but extremists will be extremists…forgive and forget, right?”

—Mick Zano

This is why Hillary said, “It doesn’t matter.” She wasn’t talking about four American deaths, she was talking about the right’s incessant and quite mindless stream of irrelevant questions.

Dear GOP,

There has been only one valid point regarding the Benghazi incident. The place was under secured.

That’s it.

Sincerely,

Reality

P.S. Oh, and sorry you couldn’t pursue that very real shortcoming because you’re the jokers who decided not to fund the thing.

And, even though it’s utterly meaningless whether they were al-Qaeda or al-Qaeda-like or al-Qaeda bold, you still got it wrong! They weren’t al-Qaeda! I still think they were Smurf Tacklers. Yes, a year and a half later and my important theory, involving radicalized Smurfs, has as much validity as all 178 of your related headlines.

“It’s important to understand exactly what Kirkpatrick is saying: not just that Al Qaeda had essentially nothing to do with the attack in Benghazi, but that our preoccupation with al-Qaeda actively crippled our understanding of what was happening in Libya.”

—Kevin Drum

So idiocy on the right made finding the truth even harder. Again, please extrapolate that to any other given topic. Meanwhile, The GOP is salivating that Christie is tied with Hillary in the polls. This is a snapshot in time. The lowest point in recent Dem history matched up against someone the GOP will never have the wisdom to nominate. Good luck with that. Someone who disagrees with me on this point recently said, “You’d be surprised what happens when people want to win an election.”

Umm, sorry, I’m almost never surprised. Have you read my posts? Republicans, who invariably never agree with me, must therefore almost always be surprised. Christie won’t be the nominee. Sorry, the inmates are running the asylum. Sorry known of you are even capable of identifying this fact. Hey, but don’t fret Foxeteers, Nurse Ratched’s coming around with the Jello again.

So yet another scandal dies. Kidding! Fox News will never let the truth interfere with a good bullshit narrative.

Political Summary Alert:

Granted we’re a short attention span society, but the list of GOP atrocities over the last twenty years is too long and the list of Obama atrocities pretty much starts and ends with the Affordable Care Act. So when it’s working a year from now, sorry, you’ll be back to zero. Don’t worry, you have never actually been much higher than that. Maybe you should all flock to Colorado…er, to get a little higher than that.

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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