Team Obama claims to be 2nd Amendment rights advocates, but their voting record suggests otherwise. Time and time again, Obama has voted in favor gun control bills.   He even voted for a bill that would close several gun manufacturers such as Les Baer, Springfield Armory, and Armalite (among others).  Is Armalite designed for the gun-toter’s wives?  You know, with only half the calories as the leading handgun?  Our Vice President is perhaps even less friendly to the gun-toting NRA types and may well have had one of his minions pry Heston’s rifle from his cold, dead hands.  Perhaps more disturbing, the National Rifle Association has recently scored Joe the Veeper an F on his gun rights record.

Have you seen Heston’s vault by the way?  It looks like that guy’s basement from Tremors. Speaking of which, could you imagine a gun ban right before any fifties sci-fi movie?  I’d like to see Obama wrangle with a Triffid or some giant radioactively-enlarged insect with only his teleprompter.  Klingons, and Cylons, and Chuds, oh my.  OK, perhaps this is not the most compelling case for gun rights, but Sith Happens.

Here is the recap: Biden voted ‘no’ on current gun laws for those weapons sold without trigger locks.  He also voted ‘no’ on loosening background checks at gun shows, as well as ‘no’ on prohibiting lawsuits against gun manufacturers.  There clearly needs to be some regulations for those of us packing in this country, but these laws needn’t interfere with the ability of normal law abiding citizens to blow the shit out of nature (especially if nature comes alive in the form of the, aforementioned, Triffid).  Some of Biden’s decisions are good ones; however, the Obama Administration is pushing Congress to pass hr45, which requires every gun to be registered and re-registered annually.  This may not seem unreasonable to some (unless you’re Charlton Heston or that guy from Tremors), but, keep in mind, your ‘papers not being in order’ may result in a five-year jail sentence.  This tactic smells more like a playbook from the Bush fears.  Could you imagine going to jail for five years because your car inspection sticker expired?  I would never see the light of day.  Well, I shouldn’t…another bad example.

Since Bush’s Operation Freedom from Democracy, anyone can move their own agenda to absurd levels.  I’ve always asserted that if Obama becomes a monster about the first amendment (Fairness Doctrine and hate-speech police) as well as the second amendment (your papers please) then it is still the Bush supporters fault for allowing the systems of checks and balances to be overrun in the first place. This may come as a shock to some of you, but there are consequences when a democracy fails.  An almost infantile belief system bandied about during the Bush years:  ‘Sure, he’s expanding his powers, but he’s pushing my agenda so it’s OK,’ and ‘Sure, he’ll use these powers but only to get those bad guys,’ and ‘Sure, this is a lot like drowning, but why can’t I call my lawyer?’

Now some of you may get a taste of the other side of despotism.  If the Obama Administration goes insanely socialist then you will know how I felt as our country shifted toward fascism.  Not a good feeling.  I appreciate the day Russ Feingold stood up and censured Bush.  I don’t know what the hell censure means—neither does Feingold—but he said he didn’t want to tell his grandchildren he stood by and did nothing as it all went to hell. 

Democracy will end with thunderous applause and country music.

– Author Unknown

In many key ways Obama has yet to give back the One Ring of power.  In fact, he is using signing statements on existing laws and pushing through his agenda, much like the Rovian fear-mongers did.  I realize signing statements became an issue under Clinton, but abuses over the last eight-years have exposed this as a dangerous expansion of power that needs to be stopped.

If you supported Bush’s fascism throughout his tenor, you get what you deserve, Tex.  Oh, and if you do decide to secede, Texas, we get Amarillo.  Just to remind us how little we’ll miss you.  I am still holding out hope that Obama is a shrewd customer—that he gets it—that he won’t push a leftist agenda to absurd levels.  If he doesn’t restore the executive branch of our government and patch back together the Constitution, it’s still an accident waiting to Hillary.

Sometime in the future, we’ll live in a world where guns are much, much scarcer.  But no one should take your gun away.  Eventually you’ll put the gun down yourself—when the time is right.  Then you’ll pick up a club and find a good mate.  I have never owned a gun, but I strongly support ‘most’ gun rights on principle. In my view, forcing the issue—such as mandating gun control or, worse yet, suspending second amendments rights completely—would be a huge mistake.  If humans don’t self destruct first, someday there will be little need for firearms, outside of non-hunting sportsmanship and, of course, Triffid uprisings. 

As we evolve as a species crime will naturally decrease, as will our desire to hunt for animals and irritating neighbors.  This is not a judgment value, just a fact. Today, we should not trust our government enough to handover our weapons.  You can say what you want about Afghanistan, but those rugged buggers pushed back the Soviet Union and continue to be a thorn in our side as well.  Why?  They’re all packing some serious heat.  If we hand over all of our arms, right now, we could be easily occupied. Trust me, China will become increasingly incensed with our inability to make the minimum payment on our World Visa card (something I’ve been saying for years) and I really don’t want them coming over here to repossess my country. 

This will be an even touchier issue in the near future, as our military becomes increasingly under-funded and as other countries attempt to assert their dominance as we struggle to maintain our superpower status.  We might also need our guns if our Constitution is dissected any further, or if government shifts once again toward a more fascist regime.  We got a good taste of that recently.  But, for now, crime is booming and the hunting is fine, besides, our founding fathers thought it was very important that we have the right to say what we want (1st amendment) and the right to shoot what we want (2nd amendment).   Well, something like that…

Things Apparently Not Worth A Revolution (Bush) Deconstructing the Constitution Deconstructing the Bill of Rights Lying us into war Profiting off of said war Accruing a deficit greater than all previous presidents combined. Tanking our economy		Things Apparently Worth A Revolution (Obama) Throwing heaps of imaginary $ at a failing economy in the hopes of staving off a depression.
After eight years of sitting back, quietly, while our economy and our Constitution were systematically gutted, now, now, there is a new group freaking out?  Now, the right-wing attack dogs are stirring up a revolution?  “We’re losing our country, oh, the horror!”  This is not a battle between entrepreneurialism and progressives, but between fundamentalism and rationalism.  Sadly, the Republican base has embraced the only aspects of conservatism that should be purged from our collective psyche.  Fiscal conservatism, small government, and libertarianism are great stuff; let’s have that debate.  But this is more about ideology-based religious drivel.  Jesus is not pro-Bush, people; although, if memory serves, he did say, “Blessed are the speds,” didn’t he? So Bush should be covered. Bill Maher, Richard Dawkins, and Christopher Hitchens have championed rationalism in recent years.  Although they wear their own bias on their sleeves (scientism), their attack on fundamentalist thinking is dead-on. It is very, very dangerous to have so many people actually slipping back down the Beck/Cowan spiral (including me).  If you don’t know what I am talking about, read God Is Not Great by Hitchens, or rent Maher’s Religulous. But don’t do it on the Sabbath.  Even God has His limits. As long as a God-fearing, righteous dude is in charge, we don’t need checks and balances, but God forbid the other side reaches for the crown and scepter.  Now Republicans, or more accurately, social conservatives, are saying “shit, what was that thing called, where we wrote down those law rule thingies?  The Declaration of Magna Carta?” These (R) Van Winkles were just peachy even during the darkest days of the Bush administration, because Bush was torturing for God.  Now, when desperate measures have been implemented amidst these desperate times, now, now, it’s Tea Party time?  (I’m not talking about the Paulites. I would join their Tea Party any time.)  I’m talking about the rest of you Malkin-blogging, Coulter-worshipping Cranks out there (sorry, Goomis). The bad news is this: Obama is acting less integral and more liberal than hoped.  Throwing wads of imaginary money at our problems is not going to help.  Socialism is not going to help, giving more welfare to the drug dealer down the street is not going to help, and universally bad healthcare for a country on the brink of bankruptcy is not going to help.  But the reaction to our new leader has been appalling since day one. With Obama in office about a month and a half, Congresswoman Michele Bachman (R) called for a revolution based on Obama’s economic policies, noting: “There’s something that’s happening this week in Congress that could be the eventual unraveling for our freedom.” Holy shit!  What rock did you crawl out from under, lady?  Boehner and Bachman and the rest of the intellectually challenged were all for Bush’s bailout and buying-out failing banks when it was their guy signing the bill.  The Republicans were prepared, from day one it seems, to attack Obama regardless of his policies, because they were always more focused on playing “pin the fail on the donkey” than saving America.  This from “real” Americans. The talking points from day one became, hey, let’s blame that guy. Roger Ailes: “Are people going to buy this?  Shouldn’t we wait until Obama is in office a few weeks?” Rupert Murdoch: “Naaaah, have you talked to our base lately?” The right-wing is not reeling in kooks like Beck and Bachman because it’s part of their apocalyptical agenda.  They’re “taking care of business,” so to speak. Glenn Beck is the perfect example.  Say what you want about Glenn Beck, but he has consistently said, “We’re all screwed,” loud and clear, for quite some time.  We can at least agree on that.  But Ailes and Murdoch watched Beck rant and rave on CNN until the moment Obama stepped into office, then shifted him over to FOX and then ratcheted up the Rovian fear machine.  Now Glenn Beck fits their agenda.   Three months ago, he was bonkers.  Try putting the blame where it is deserved, people:  1.) Bush for being asleep at the economic switch, destroying our credibility, and botching a couple of wars;  2.) Certain Dems for their part in the sub-prime mortgage fiasco; and 3.) Wall-Street greed, which has reached levels not seen since, well, they’ve always sucked; it’s what they do.  But they went unchecked every single day Bush was in office. (However, let’s not forget a lot of the regs were initially waived under Clinton). Astute folks all over our country had to sit by for years watching us destroy ourselves, and any dissent was viewed as anti-American.  Obama’s honeymoon period, as predicted, was canceled by the neo-cons immediately.  It’s true, Obama’s strategy isn’t going to work; but he didn’t break the damn stock market.  Sure, he no longer has to follow the Constitution, but guess what?  That’s not his fault either.  I gave Obama a 15% chance of fixing the economy.  (I was feeling generous that day).  My two hopes, since circa 2004, were that Bush and Cheney would leave the White House in handcuffs, or at least that the depression would be named “W.”  (0 for 2).  Bush will author books, with lots of colored pictures, and it will be called The Obama Depression. Bastards! What could be more anti-American than backing a developmentally disabled semi-fascist for eight years and then betting against the economic recovery?  Enter Rush Limbaugh.  Pokey McDooris gave this guy a B + on the integral scale, for being wrong on just about everything for a decade.  And now that Obama is in, he’s rooting for our country’s economic collapse?  Nailed it, Poke.  Are the Ron Paul people, the radical far-left, and the fundamental base of the Republican Party going to galvanize into one negative force that will pull us apart?  Talk about strange bedfellows. Well, it would be fun to watch from a distance How can I even attend a respectable protest anymore?  What corner of the mob should I head for?  Or in other words, why go to a tea party with a bunch of Bushies?  Fox is inciting these riots with rhetoric like, “Should we be protesting?  Should we be outraged?”  Yes, we should be, for everything you assholes have supported for the last eight years.     Me, I’m going to wait to see what happens before I spark up the torch and brandish my pitchfork.  I’m thinking my theme will be “Keggers for Freedom,” with blues bands playing until midnight. All proceeds will go to local farmers and legalizing marijuana (I have glaucoma in my left eye).  Who’s with me? People are vehemently attacking the Dems, but the fact is Obama has earned the right to finish this country off.  Your guy was about the worst ever, and after 2004 there was never any coming back.  It is going to be a very different country from here on out, but you can stop being wrong anytime now, peeps.  The S.S. Economy hit the iceberg during the Bush fears, and I am personally much more comfortable with an intelligent, rational, articulate president shuffling us all toward the lifeboats.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, the band is striking up “Nearer, My God, to Thee” over by the Grand Staircase.

We long for a mathematical certainty of political allegiance leading to higher levels of human life and culture. Right now in the political world, there is only one thing certain: our system is overrun with corruption, deception, insanity, stupidity, and, of course, shit goblins.  What is Enlightenment? Issue 38 states that we can indeed unite and evolve to a new stage of culture.  Thank goodness, because Issue 37 said we were all fucked.  There is still hope for a real authentic social movement that includes and transcends all of the problems of the postmodern pluralistic worldview and its shadow side, aka, countercultural relativistic fatalism (CRF). 

All stages of human consciousness correlate with one, or many historical worldviews. A worldview is an inner structure of consciousness that is shared by many individuals. Each person’s cultural worldview has been generated by a particular politics of a thriving, or in our case, once thriving, social and economic structure. An integral politics realizes and integrates all foundational stages of consciousness while transcending into a higher stage altogether.

Tribal communities bind together with blood relatives and neighboring families. Although useful for cooperation and survival, the tribal consciousness tends to fear, demonize, threaten, imprison, convert, or kill anyone refusing to conform to the code and rituals of the community. This level of consciousness generates a magical thinking that expresses itself as very young children, indigenous people, and many fundamentalist religions. The strongest competing tribal communities develop military might that leads to warlord states that have the power to exert their will against the hodgepodge of tribal whims. Warrior consciousness learns to bully and threaten their interests into political relevance. The warrior societies assert the individualism found in the terrible two-year olds, most notable examples: Incas, Vikings, pirates, and the Cleveland Indians.

Traditional Kingdoms grow to establish nationalist values, chivalrous codes, etiquette, and religious values. These Kingdoms establish laws and borders that are enforced by state sponsored police and military.  King Arthur, The English Empire, and the Catholic Church have expressed this level of consciousness. In recent years, Pat Buchanan and Michael Savage have championed the reestablishment of traditional consciousness in America.   

The Enlightenment of the Modern Nation State inspired democratic capitalism based on rational thinking displayed by myself and a few of my fellow Discordians. These Modern Societies brought us constitutional law, individual liberties, and expanded public education. Post-Modern Societies broaden pluralistic awareness of the inherent, often overlooked, rights of others. The Post-Modern Consciousness of the Baby Boomer Generation brings an increased sensitivity to the disenfranchised of our society: civil rights for minorities, women’s rights, gay rights, empathy for our enemies, animal rights, environmental rights, and even power to the sociopathic shit goblins. Ralph Nadar and Dennis Kucinich eloquently express the policies of post-modernism. They champion social justice, challenge corporate corruption, protect the environment, as well as encourage alternative energies, health, and lifestyles.  But, please, don’t feed the shit goblins after midnight.

The problem with each stage of political consciousness is its tendency to demonize and attack the other stages. This destroys the necessary integration required to sustain continued evolution. The success of the Modern Consciousness depended upon the hard rock might of Traditional Consciousness that protected the vanguard from the warlord bullies and tribal mobs. If we progressive ‘intellectuals’ continue using our minds to devise shrewd plans for the deconstruction of American values, then tribal consciousness will flourish and overtake our freedom of thought, speech and actions (enters things like Sharia Law; good luck with that).  Mick Zano refers to this group as ‘the bake brownies for Al-Qaeda’ folks.  The Crank refers to them as ASSHOLE LIBERTARDS!  The Crank should consider switching to decaf.

We must integrate the truths for each of these valid stages of development before we can fully evolve into a higher stage. We must respect the conclusions of sincere rational inquiry and follow its conclusions wherever they lead. We must honor the plurality and degree of validity of others’ perspectives even if those others wish to chop our heads off or arrest us for naked bungee jumping with a minor.  That’s still legal, right?

Will you come back to my cliff, bouncy, bouncy?

The most challenging aspect of the integral politician is to fully embrace the communal and traditional values of the culture and society before expanding into a unified internationalism, aka, evolve before you leap. 

Many Post-Modern Progressives overlook the insights of history, the heritage of constitutional law, and the tools of logic. If we Progressives really wish to continue evolving then we can’t keep attacking and deconstructing the necessary foundational stages of consciousness. The residue of unresolved traditional values slithers through our nation’s psyche and threatens to corrode the very fabric of our union.   

That’s my job!

Those politically on the right tend to ignore the core truths of transcendence. The mind is not limited to the brain. Human nature is not limited by its history. The possibilities of the future are infinite and as our consciousness transforms. So, too, does the surrounding world transform.  They also tend to borrow from lower perspectives and demonize anything unfamiliar.  Don’t knock naked bungee jumping until you’ve tried it. 

Those on the left tend to ignore the core truths of nationalism. If the country is not rooted in its history and heritage it will collapse, just as the molecule which fails to embrace the atom will collapse.

Now we must join all of these valid truths while modifying the inconsistencies, transcending into a higher ‘integral’ perspective. Pat Buchanan and Michael Savage are correct: 1.) our country cannot survive without clear definable borders and the will and ability to enforce them, and 2.) there is a real problem with certain Islamic sects who assert their will to kill or assimilate anybody beyond the terrible twos. But the traditionalists must be careful not to act out of anger and humiliate the radical Islamists or we will make the problem worse not better. Humiliation is the emotion that sparked this radical machismo, woman-squelching, bomb-dropping, suicide-wishing mentality in the first place. Let’s not intentionally stir up the hornets nest without a clear exit strategy.          

Kucinich is right; the Bush administration has compromised our country’s integrity, and alienated and misdirected our resources from our most pressing problems, but let’s not throw out the Buchanian baby with the Bushian bathwater. Yes, Buchanan sounds like your crazy old uncle, but we must recognize and root with our country’s foundation before we can evolve to a world where there is no war, hunger, or Sean Hannity. And let’s not forget, Hillary Clinton is right about, well, I’ll get back to you.

We must transcend the left and the right by recognizing the validity at each stage and all perspectives, well, except, of course, for the shit goblins, who MUST DIE!

Having been a former Arizona resident myself, I can relate. Of my two Sedonian roommates, one was actually a Shaman with a slightly altered sense of right and wrong. If it served her, it was right, otherwise it was wrong. The other was a self-professed meth and sex addicted, Puerto Rican raised, Pakistani who would not leave the house on his three-wheeled basket adorned bike without his aluminum foil lined baseball cap (and rarely took it off).  The Shaman could eerily comment out loud what you were thinking the terrorist wannabe diligently worked on his fiery end-times manifesto, all the time confident in his role in facilitating the aforementioned end-times in the name of God.  Isn’t that a U2 song?

And you wonder why I came back home so soon, Zano?!

My roommates, along with the Shaman’s friends, regaled me with stories of the reptilians that lived in Cornville, just outside of Sedona.  These strange visitors are apparently into aggressive doggy-style sex with humans (or is it lizard-style?).  Meanwhile, the greys of X-Files fame, because you know there are just so many different species, had somehow evolved so much out of their heart center that they were no longer able to ascend (an evolutionary leap into a higher vibrating reality/walking into heaven kind of thing).  And, since Earth’s mankind is on the brink of this ascension, they had to mix with humans to assure the survival of their species, hence the abductions, testing, missing babies from pregnant ladies, the cattle mutilation, crop circles, and late night talk show hosts.  Don’t believe me? Take a real close look at Conan O’Brien some time.

And ascend we must for if we don’t that other race of aliens, you know, the ones that really control our world, control the Illuminati, the Masons and, most importantly, the Shit Goblins, will win, keeping humankind, the greys and the combinations thereof in this reincarnative treadmill, working through all their karma for them so they can stay comfy in their happy, happy, joy, joy ascension place.  Yes, apparently elitism exists even in outer space.

And back here on Earth, don’t forget about the chem trails (not the ones leading to and from my meth freak roommate’s door).  Chem trails are where the government grids the airspace above small towns with some sort of chemical spray so the physical reactions to the chemical by the humans below can be easily tracked by the one hospital in town, or the destruction of “seeds of life” plants.  Think about it, were THAT many people really THAT annoyed with the amount of seeds in oranges, watermelons and such that we just HAD to look for a seedless alternative?  And many of the seeds that are still around produce only one crop of fruit or none at all, so now we can’t plant our own food and sustain ourselves?  Are you shitgoblining me?   I’m ready to join you at that pub right about now, Mick.

It’s hard to wade through the piles of paranoia, but here’s what I do know: with regards to sustaining ourselves in the potentially soup kitchen ridden, canned food stocked bunker future, it’s best to take more interest in locally produced foods and products.  Not only does it help the local economy, but you get on a first name basis with the people who already know how and have the means to sustain themselves and are in a position to trade with those who need sustaining in case everything does hit the aluminum baseball cap. Eating locally raised foods is also healthier for you, thereby boosting your immune system providing more protection against chem trails, lizard people, and Shit Goblins.

Other New Agey concepts in an organic nutshell: with regards to ascension, you can refer to your local quantum physicists for guidance.  Fear, anger, etc. are lower vibrating emotions and laughter, joy, and love are the highest vibrating emotions.  The more you spend time in the higher vibrating emotion realms, the more your consciousness gets used to being there and adapts, making the other, all too popular emotions, less comfortable states.  Second, you create your own reality.  Essentially, what you focus on is going to eventually manifest in your life, especially if there is a strong emotional charge and action behind it, good or bad.  And third, anything that pisses you off about someone else is really a reflection of what pisses you off about yourself.  Hard pill to swallow, I know, but if you spend some time with it, you might find yourself having to swallow a lot less pills. 

In summary, there’s enough paranoid, fear-mongering conspiratorial do dah out there get even the Shit Goblins stocking up on aluminum foil but at least there’s hope.  You can always Put on Your Boots and relax under the Joshua Tree on a day when the skies are clear (or some other U2 reference to tie it all together.­)

My movement shall begin humbly enough, but like that moth that beats its wings in China, it will eventually cause a tsunami of public discontent…you know, like in college.  It all began outside of Maloney’s Irish Pub, just before happy hour, when the appetizers are half-priced, the way God intended.  I was thinking about my disgust for Rachel Maddow and Keith Olbermann and, yes, my growing disdain for the Zamboni Gypsies.  OK, OK, I was a little early for happy hour.  Some people hit the bathroom for the interim, while others decide to change the very course of history.  So I walked outside to protest something.  This time I wasn’t protesting Maloney’s dollar off all domestic beer policy (they don’t count microbrews, which are domestic, but apparently not domestic enough).  I understand the implications…real Americans don’t drink microbrews.  It’s a metaphor for the way I feel.  Sure I’m brewed a little better and have great taste, but the real Americans next to me are drinking Lite beer from Miller and talking about jerky.  Ahhh, real Americans. This time, I was there to protest the media and to protest all protests.  Just as long as I was back in my bar stool in about twenty minutes.

The media started down the dark side when Rupert Murdoch over at Fox said, there’s a liberal media bias, so I will single handedly balance things out, because balance is good, right?  Pre-Fox you had to think about who was or was not liberal.  They were journalists back then (some liberal bias from a level of consciousness perspective is unavoidable). The reality remains, most educated people are going to have some liberal tendencies (but don’t worry, they have a cream for that now).  In recent years, MSNBC has decided to be Fox on the left to, you know, single handedly balance out Fox, and the result is the abysmal failure of cable news.  Bread and circuses, Nero fiddling, fat lady’s singing, dogs and cats, living together, mass hysteria.

Bush wanted to sink to Al Qaeda’s level, MSNBC wanted to sink to Fox’s level, whatever happened to upward mobility, people?

We’ve reached a point in American history where the best news comes from Maher, Stewart and Colbert.  If journalism is topped by standup comedians, it’s time to go to plan B peeps, which for most involves APEX Technical School.  I could have had my tool box, like ten times by now.

Karl Rove polarized this country in 2004 for political gains, but even he never grasped the full implications of his propensity for evil.  Meanwhile, Glenn Beck sobs on about The 9/12 project, and, a somewhat scary admission, I understand his sentiment.  On 9/12 we were united.   I predicted, back then, that 9/12 would be the last time we ever really find ourselves all on the same page. When Bush’s ‘leadership’ skills became apparent, I knew we would fragment like a glass Chia Pet dropped from the top of Rush Limbaugh’s ego.  I think a second major terrorist attack would result in Marshall Law and further fragmentation, like ahhh, ahhhh…just read the Chia Pet reference again.  This might not happen, but only because Al Qaeda is saying, “Sheeeet man, they’re imploding faster than those towers we knocked down.”  Sorry.  In my limited accent world, Al Qaeda is filled with evil Rastafarians. I also predicted the crowning of King Obama and how, sadly, it would be a short lived feel good moment, quite possibly the last for a long, long time. 

Oh, you’re just a pessimist Zano. 

Well hypothetical devil’s advocate person, I am only pessimistic about the nation’s future; I’m personally doing fine with zero stress, zero money in the bank, and zero expectations for our country’s future.  I am in an almost zen-like state of detachment, although admittedly it could be caffeine high; the espresso roasts out here are unbelievable! 

My only rants come in the form of Discord articles where I wrestle with the remnants of my shadow self and, of course, quell my urge to strangle young women.  I am modeling my life, loosely, off of Pokey McDooris, who, when civilization finally collapses, someone is going to have to find and explain this fact to him.  I predict on the big day of our collective demise, Pokey may or may not shrug and will probably go drinking.  Likewise, I have enough interests to keep me busy, regardless of the fate of nations.  I am prepared to even drink domestic beer and, if need be, jerky some woodland creatures for sustenance.  But that does not mean that I have ever rooted against the U.S. as many Foxers would attest, for they would call anyone anti-American who doesn’t buy into their abysmally low version of group stink. 

The media has tanked and what is the solution, you ask?  I think blogs may have their place in our future. I really respect a few blogger’s opinions and turn to them for solace in the world of otherwise ideologically driven newspapers and cable new shows.   I think a Discord Nation has a place in the future.  I nominate Dave and Pokey to lead our new movement.  The day of his inauguration, Pokey may or may not shrug and will probably go drinking. 

The Texas Governor is talking about secession…now?  I don’t have a problem with that….  People from Texas should be sobbing in shame for a decade or two, but no, they would rather start bitching the loudest.   Waaaa, the county sucks, waaaa.  It’s your fault, so shut up and sit down.

Meanwhile, MSNBC is making fun of the Tea Partiers, making fun of them!  They are calling them teabaggers, which my meth-snorting male prostitute tells me is needlessly suggestive.  During the Bush fears, Keith Olbermann pointed out that if Habeas Corpus is permanently suspended, it’s time to storm the Bastille, but now, now that a Dem is in power, everything is immediately hunky friggin’ dory?  Obama hasn’t restored anything!  Which, er, I predicted.  I did hope Obama had some integral traits, but I knew some of it was just wishful thinking, and I never thought he would fix our economy.

And now a Special Comment for Mr. Olbermann:

Sir, you have pointed out, and rightly so, that the government is a farce, and now we’re supposed to believe everything is fixed because your guy is in power?  The constitution is still listing to port, sir.  Obama is proposing the biggest bailouts in history, he’s raising our taxes, and he can’t appoint anyone to his cabinet who even pays their own taxes.  How dare you make fun of people savvy enough to realize our government is a joke, regardless of the current brand in office?

Not to be outdone, Fox News is whipping the Tea People into a frenzy.   They are actually trying to lead the movement by saying, “We made this.”  How dare you assholes highjack what was initially a legitimate libertarian cause.  These people hatched under Bush’s tyrannical reign while you idiots were still cheering him on.  They have less to do with you than the Obama peeps, morons.  Have some self dignity and apologies for your part in our demise and start working toward that tool box thing. 

How do we fix the media, you ask?  Some say, shut them down, unplug Fox News, or, on the other side of the aisle, how about that Fairness Doctrine? 

Hint: all legislation since W. is named to hide the truth. Examples: Coalition of the Willing (Coerced), Patriot Act (Unpatriotic) and Fairness Doctrine (not fair).  No, we must remember our first amendment rights. The right to clasp your hands tightly around their struggling young thro….sorry, miles away.   No. The only way to win is to stop watching.  I am taking my 42 inch Phillips flat screen and hurling it down onto the angry mob below.  We need to shut them all off and find alternative news sources, like the Daily Discord. OK, maybe not that alternative.  Here is today’s viewer stats, courtesy of the Drudge report:

Fox NEWS O'REILLY 3,897,000

Fox NEWS HANNITY 3,138,000

Fox NEWS GRETA 2,639,000

Fox NEWS BECK 2,233,000

Fox NEWS SHEP 1,979,000

Fox NEWS BAIER 1,866,000

CNN COOPER 1,277,000

CNN KING 1,260,000

MSNBC OLBERMANN 1,229,000

CNNHN GRACE 1,172,000

MSNBC MADDOW 1,052,000

Kind of daunting, isn’t it?  I want these numbers to be zero. Well, one…I have to watch sometimes…you know, for negative inspiration.  Come on…it’s a legitimate request.  Do as I say, not as I view.

Some people see ideology, I see colors.  Where are the integral voices?  We need some guidance more than ever.  When is Wilber’s Integral Politics book coming out? And who is going to explain it to me?  Ken will stay out of the actual debate, because he’s so far above this shit if he dropped a glass Chia Pet it would take three days and nights before it hit the top Rush Limbaugh’s ego.    

During my short and silent protest, I saw a Dodge Caravan with a bumper sticker that read, “Emancipate yourself from mental slavery.” It had a picture of Bob Marley on one side and a big fat doobie on the other. Serious synchronicity! And, I thought to myself that’s IT That is it in a nutshell…I could really go for a big fat doobie right about now.  Or is this just more subliminal messages from the evil Rastafarians?

I am starting my own protest of one.  I am protesting against all of you.  I know I should be trying to Sarcastically Salve Society, but let me have my Crank moment.  All right, in the spirit of community I will only have one short questionnaire before you can join the Zano Youth Movement (ZYM). 

Do you think Bush and Cheney did a great job?

Do you believe Obama’s bailouts will work?

Do you believe the media is doing a good job?

If you answered a resounding ‘yes’ to any of these questions, you’re in the wrong movement, folks.

I am making my stand alone, now, today, once more outside of Maloney’s Irish Pub with a sign that reads: Microbrews ARE Domestic Beers! Bitches. 

So who’s with me for this alone stance revolution thingie?   Twenty minutes is up…time for those half-priced Quesadillas.