One Flew Safely from the Cuckoo’s Nest

Having been a former Arizona resident myself, I can relate. Of my two Sedonian roommates, one was actually a Shaman with a slightly altered sense of right and wrong. If it served her, it was right, otherwise it was wrong. The other was a self-professed meth and sex addicted, Puerto Rican raised, Pakistani who would not leave the house on his three-wheeled basket adorned bike without his aluminum foil lined baseball cap (and rarely took it off).  The Shaman could eerily comment out loud what you were thinking the terrorist wannabe diligently worked on his fiery end-times manifesto, all the time confident in his role in facilitating the aforementioned end-times in the name of God.  Isn’t that a U2 song?

And you wonder why I came back home so soon, Zano?!

My roommates, along with the Shaman’s friends, regaled me with stories of the reptilians that lived in Cornville, just outside of Sedona.  These strange visitors are apparently into aggressive doggy-style sex with humans (or is it lizard-style?).  Meanwhile, the greys of X-Files fame, because you know there are just so many different species, had somehow evolved so much out of their heart center that they were no longer able to ascend (an evolutionary leap into a higher vibrating reality/walking into heaven kind of thing).  And, since Earth’s mankind is on the brink of this ascension, they had to mix with humans to assure the survival of their species, hence the abductions, testing, missing babies from pregnant ladies, the cattle mutilation, crop circles, and late night talk show hosts.  Don’t believe me? Take a real close look at Conan O’Brien some time.

And ascend we must for if we don’t that other race of aliens, you know, the ones that really control our world, control the Illuminati, the Masons and, most importantly, the Shit Goblins, will win, keeping humankind, the greys and the combinations thereof in this reincarnative treadmill, working through all their karma for them so they can stay comfy in their happy, happy, joy, joy ascension place.  Yes, apparently elitism exists even in outer space.

And back here on Earth, don’t forget about the chem trails (not the ones leading to and from my meth freak roommate’s door).  Chem trails are where the government grids the airspace above small towns with some sort of chemical spray so the physical reactions to the chemical by the humans below can be easily tracked by the one hospital in town, or the destruction of “seeds of life” plants.  Think about it, were THAT many people really THAT annoyed with the amount of seeds in oranges, watermelons and such that we just HAD to look for a seedless alternative?  And many of the seeds that are still around produce only one crop of fruit or none at all, so now we can’t plant our own food and sustain ourselves?  Are you shitgoblining me?   I’m ready to join you at that pub right about now, Mick.

It’s hard to wade through the piles of paranoia, but here’s what I do know: with regards to sustaining ourselves in the potentially soup kitchen ridden, canned food stocked bunker future, it’s best to take more interest in locally produced foods and products.  Not only does it help the local economy, but you get on a first name basis with the people who already know how and have the means to sustain themselves and are in a position to trade with those who need sustaining in case everything does hit the aluminum baseball cap. Eating locally raised foods is also healthier for you, thereby boosting your immune system providing more protection against chem trails, lizard people, and Shit Goblins.

Other New Agey concepts in an organic nutshell: with regards to ascension, you can refer to your local quantum physicists for guidance.  Fear, anger, etc. are lower vibrating emotions and laughter, joy, and love are the highest vibrating emotions.  The more you spend time in the higher vibrating emotion realms, the more your consciousness gets used to being there and adapts, making the other, all too popular emotions, less comfortable states.  Second, you create your own reality.  Essentially, what you focus on is going to eventually manifest in your life, especially if there is a strong emotional charge and action behind it, good or bad.  And third, anything that pisses you off about someone else is really a reflection of what pisses you off about yourself.  Hard pill to swallow, I know, but if you spend some time with it, you might find yourself having to swallow a lot less pills. 

In summary, there’s enough paranoid, fear-mongering conspiratorial do dah out there get even the Shit Goblins stocking up on aluminum foil but at least there’s hope.  You can always Put on Your Boots and relax under the Joshua Tree on a day when the skies are clear (or some other U2 reference to tie it all together.­)

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