London, ENG – The UK hosted a secret meeting of World leaders to discuss the possible designs of a new world currency. The most controversial finalist, depicted above, may well be our world leaders attempt at stoking the fires of conspiracy theorists everywhere.
President Obama said, “There are elements from U.S. currency in each of the finalists, which makes selling parts of our sovereignty on the World E-Bay more than worth it.”
Obama admitted that if implemented tomorrow, U.S. currency would be trading on par with the Somali Dirt Clod, currently worth its weight in mud, gravel, and small bits of dried vegetation, but Obama is urging Americans “not to worry.” Business-savvy Americans are believed to have already invested everything in internationally recognized commodities, “so they should be just fine.” Mr. Obama denied allegations that the Pharmaceutical Company Eli Lilly, makers of antipsychotic medication, catered the top secret summit luncheon in question.
“Sometimes a free lunch is just a free lunch,” assured Obama. “Oh, and the government is monitoring all of your thoughts, so ask your doctor if Zyprexa is right for you.”