Washington, DC—Donald Trump is getting a bump in the polls today after he shoved a baby carriage down a stairwell. The incident left one woman angry and one toddler in cynical condition. Shortly after his presidential debate, Trump, allegedly told a woman she looked like something from a horror movie and then pushed her stroller over a precipice. According to witnesses, The Donald yelled, “Remember the Untouchables?! This is like a reenactment. Get it, you skank?!”
Trump remains unapologetic about the incident and is not backing down from his comments. “I meant what I said. I loved the movie The Untouchables and that woman was kind of a skank. It’s not sexists if it’s true.”