Sequester Forces “Ramen Noodle Wednesdays” at White House

Sequester Forces "Ramen Noodle Wednesdays" at White House

Washington, DC—No one is sure if President Barack Obama gave the executive order to add Ramen Noodle Wednesdays to the menu, but staffers claim the inexpensive Chinese noodle will be a White House staple until the sequester situation is resolved.  The menu typically includes a main meal plus the soup of the day. However, Wednesdays will now consist of no main course and only Ramen Noodles as both the soup and the dessert.

When the head chef was asked if that was a typo, Cris Comerford, said, “No, with a little white chocolate and some pecans we can make the noodles into crunchy vanilla clusters. We call them Patriot Piles here at the White House. Heh, heh.” When asked if the dessert will be made from the leftover soup, Comerford seemed insulted, “No, No, we serve dessert immediately after the soup. I don’t think we’d have to actually strain the leftover Ramen Noodles to make the dessert…well, unless the next debt ceiling thing goes south.”

White House Press Secretary, Jay Carney, dodged questions today regarding rumors the White House plans introduce a weekly Leftovers Day, which in a leaked memo, Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel, referred to as Operation: Search or Starve.

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.