Philadelphia, PA – The Daily Discord’s CEO, Pierce Winslow, claims that the festivities scheduled for this big event have been cancelled in honor of a new Discord tradition, Great Recession Day. Winslow would like to extend a big ‘thank you’ and an even bigger ‘Happy Anniversary’ to the Daily Discord, now heralded by at least one bald person in Vegas as “bordering on significant.”
Now a word from the Big Guy himself: “We are laying off several Discord staffers, who either don’t earn their keep or just plain SUCK. Your pink slips are in the mail, bitches. In an effort to save on unemployment compensation, some of you are encouraged to report from deep within Taliban controlled territories, or from inside North Korea itself. The Crank is no longer both Goomis and the Crank; having two names is a luxury we can no longer afford. We are all going to have to make sacrifices. The Ghetto Shaman agrees to continue to work for chicken wings, because “my message is too important for mankind, and I love the suicide sauce!”
Pokey should be released from jail soon, but his parole officer is not thrilled with his participation in our fine Ezine. On a related note, screw you, officer Desoto! Dave Atsals has finally agreed to stop sending material in exchange for beer. That is all…oh, and remember, Big Winslow is watching. Oh, and check out our anniversary page from week one! I posted the first historic feature article, and it’s been all downhill every since.