New York, NY—Upon hearing of yet another study supporting the notion Fox News is not journalism, the Supreme Being acted. Many feel Fox has reached absurd levels of misinformation, and that they are a joke, a joke designed to strike Discord at the heart… OK, this does sound like us, but hear us out. Regardless, the powers that be saw fit to send three journalistic ghosts to Rupert Murdoch’s mansion in an attempt to change the CEO of Fox’s evil ways. Or at least that was the plan.
Neighbors report hearing the sound of chains dragging and clanging, and some haunting cries before the spectral form of Walter Cronkite came bolting from the residence like a banshee.
“He seemed very distraught,” said a neighbor, who witnessed the incident but asked to remain anonymous. “It wasn’t the usual “my life ended tragically” kind of thing. This was more of an ‘it just happened, sheer terror egress’ kind of thing. I’ve never seen a ghost look so upset.”
The effectiveness of the visit remains in question at this hour, but Cronkite allegedly texted the Ghosts of Journalism Present and Journalism Future right after the episode. The full text, though initially classified, was released on WikiLeaks:
OMG! Murdoch is f-ing nuts. Abort! Rendezvous at Olbermann’s place
Whereas the majority of the text message is self explanatory, the XOXO remains disturbing to many who knew Cronkite personally and never suspected he was so touchy-feely.