Form Of Political Methane Has Inflated Both The DOW And Trump’s Ego

America is hooked on a feeling. A recent poll suggests more than 60% of our country is optimistic about a future under Trump. How do this many people get dropped on their head as children? I’m talking to you Child Protective Services. Wait, I’m being told they’ve disbanded in lieu of supportive Republican legislation. Stand Your Playground laws? Seriously, how long can this methane-based reality endure? Oh, that’s right, they’re gutting the EPA. Hmmm. What is it going to take to bring these people back from Narnia? The Lying Bitch In The War Room? Somewhere I can hear Bob Marley singing: don’t worry about a thing, ’cause every little thing is going to be alt-right. Am I the only one worried about the coming Trumpocalypse? Whereas it’s true no one is actually pissing in my Cheerios, it’s only because I’m stocking up on the Malt-O-Meal equivalent, Shitty Os or something.

The GOP is a wholly emotion-driven movement. This is the relevant part of the Wiki definition of emotion:

“Emotion is often intertwined with mood, temperament, personality, disposition, and motivation.”

A conservative pundit finally admitted to the existence of this nebulous “feeling” still driving Republican reality. Some CNN anchor asked Kaleigh McEnany, “Doesn’t Obama have an argument that things are getting better, based on economic indicators?” She responded, “Liberals ignored the most important indicator, how Americans feel. We don’t feel like things are getting better.” Exactly! Screw what’s happening, we’re not feeling it. I guess a gazillion specially-crafted Drudge headlines mattered.

Republican Political Methane: now with up to 10% Foxanol.

There’s a similar delusion of safety: “I just feel safer under a Republican president.” Of course there’s no evidence for this. During a Dick Cheney interview last year, Chris Wallace said, “But under your watch Iran went from zero known centrifuges to more than 5,000.” Cheney responded, “I don’t think of it that way.” Exactly! Important facts must be dismissed out of hand. I mean, how else could they sleep at night? Smellatonin? Iran’s nuclear capabilities accelerated under Bush and Cheney and halted under Obama. That last sentence is complete gibberish to a Republican, because it’s what actually happened.

The same process is used on every issue, every time. You want another example? Hint: you’re already getting warmer, along with the planet you live on. By highlighting each incident in that one city Republicans even think overall violence is up nationally. Even Chicago, try as it may, doesn’t change a decreasing national trend, but it keeps the political methane powering this Republican BS machine.

Irony Alert: If The GOP runs on bullshit, it’s sort of an organic green energy. Or at least brown energy.

Less people crossing the border becomes more people crossing the border, a growing economy becomes a declining one, and pot becomes more dangerous than crack. So these lies paved the way for our square-state friends to elect President Ass-Clown Hitler, in the hopes of fixing all these things that aren’t really broken. Truthless Tuesday? Prior to the election, I also warned how the normalcy bias may well play a part, here. I have been well aware of this wholly imaginary “feeling” that we could all be doing much better.

“I’m hooked on a feeling,
I’m high on believing,
That Fox is news to me.”
—Ooga Chaka

Rightwing media is bunk and most “reputable” media outlets chose to allow this false reality to fester. Ratings were up under Trump, so truth be damned. The Wall Street Journal is already preparing to defend Trump’s lies.

“I’d be careful about using the word ‘lie.’ ‘Lie’ implies much more than just saying something that’s false. It implies a deliberate intent to mislead.”
—Chief Editor, Wall Street Journal

So essentially Trump isn’t lying, because he doesn’t have the wherewithal to even know the implication of his words. Whereas that may be sadly accurate, it’s nevertheless frightening. Republicans are too ignorant to be responsible for their actions? Then why are they in office? Today, half our country reacts to facts like Superman would to a Kryptonite enema. It makes me want to climb into the Fortress of Solitude. Oh wait, arctic drilling frackquakes apparently damaged the infrastructure. Poor Superman, at least Batman has a cave to survive Trump. Wait, I’m being told there’s a sinkhole threatening Wayne Manor. Damn …I’d call Aquaman but he’s contracted Toxoplasmosis. Fucking BP.

It will be interesting to watch when the buyer’s remorse sets in. Those will be the days worth living for. Kidding, just pass the Shitty Os and the milk. No matter how things go down, conservatives will shift blame while marching further rightward. Trump wasn’t Teabagger enough! Obama left the economy too weak! That last democratic senator in NY botched everything! Zano chained himself to Trump’s ego.

The fact is, unless you’re part of the 1%, you will do much worse under Trump. So that one guy who voted for Trump and then hit it big on Lotto is a genius. The rest of you, uh, not so much. When the brain fart that is the GOP sputters under Trump, I still don’t think this methane bubble will burst. It seems almost indestructible at this point, in fact, it may be the only thing that survives a Trump Administration.

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