Zimmerman Stops Building From Falling on Playground

Zimmerman Stops Building from Falling on Playground

Miami, FL—George, George, George of the asphalt jungle is at it again! Only hours after pulling several people from a burning SUV, the controversial neighborhood watch member turned superhero proved his mettle again; this time by saving countless children from a fiery death.

Eyewitnesses claim he prevented a toppling building from crashing onto a park filled with children. The caped Zimmerman allegedly held the building aloft until the area was cleared by emergency personnel. The mask and his outfit had people wondering if he was fighting crime or this was his alternative to the Acquitted Protection Program.

“I wasn’t sure it was him at first, with that whacky get up,” said Ella Porter of Miami Shores, “but when he started firing random shots at the fleeing black kids, we knew.”

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.