Smothered in Chum Snorkeling Adventures Closes Its Doors

Smothered In Chum Snorkling Adventures Closes Its Doors

Montauk, NY—The Snell Brother’s Marina extended their deepest sympathies to the Kendrick family after Doug and Melinda Kendrick were devoured by sharks in an area of the Long Island Sound known as Plum Gut. The Coast Guard and local authorities are closing the marina for what they are calling “flagrant violations of their boating and marina manual.” The ill-fated honeymooners marked the 111th and 112th death since the marina opened last month.

The Marina’s manager, Aaron Snell, told the Discord, “We thought if we smeared our customers in snapper heads and entrails, they would get to really appreciate some of the larger, majestic sea life in this region.” Mr. Snell later added, “Incidentally, we weren’t wrong.”

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.