Extreme Politics: the Baghdad Bob Syndrome

The Crank

Now that the powers that be have determined that I no longer need employment, the few of you northwestcoasties that will actually read this will probably be hearing much more of me. Like it or not. And I honestly hope ‘not’, as that would make my time at the computer much more rewarding. Ninja porn reference omitted.

I had an epiphany the other day whilst reading comments to stories on various websites. I read a well-known far left website’s comments sections, and switched to a far right site’s own similar area. The clouds parted, the chorus sang, and Jesus, Mom and Stevie Ray Vaughan shined the light on me. As I read the comments I realized that, like Baghdad Bob, these polar idiots were saying one thing as the opposite was going on behind them on camera, while they were obviously totally f-ing oblivious to it.

Baghdad Bob’s most famous interview was actually a fake one on Saturday Night Live, where he was saying that there were no American forces anywhere near Baghdad as behind him the American army waved at the camera as they rode by on tanks. The distant memories of this skit still bring tears of joy and laughter to my eyes.

The Current State of Online Politics:

My favorite part is where a commenter says something that disagrees with the website’s own leanings. Usually one of three things happen.

1. The comment will be followed by a statement saying everything the commenter said was false, usually followed by derogatory insinuations of an extremely personal nature on the left, and derogatory statements of one’s basic lack of any intelligence on the right.

2. The comment will be followed by wild accusations, and the insistence that the first commenter provide incontrovertible totally non-partisan links to back up his statements immediately, or die.

3. Trolls in their mom’s underwear trying to gin up a fight to make some sense of their own miserable f-ing existence.

What they both almost always fail to see is the Army of tanks carrying questionable reporting and questionable analysis riding right behind them, waving as they ride by.

I love the terms like ‘settled science’ (there is no such thing in true science), or “most all of the (worlds, countries) (economists, climate scientists, people, hedgehogs, etc) think that blah bla bla.” Meaningless drivel. First it was Bob as a Global Cooling person as the Earth warmed behind him. Then it was Bob as a global warmer as the earth stabilized for 18 years behind him. Now, its Bob as Climate Change Guy, while people behind him just walk in circles bumping into each other, not knowing which friggin ‘Bob’ to follow.

Also at the head of the Baghdad Bob parade is currently the ‘if you disagree with anything I like it’s because you are racist’ baiters who actually earn a living on the backs and heads of the less educated of their own color. Telling people that one side or the other is racist is idiotic because in their own fun-loving ways, both sides are. Some of the semi- toothless variety of right wingers are actually ‘old timey racists’ and most on the far left are just complete users. Baghdad Bob rears his pretty head. Jim Crow was Democrat. Most southern lawmakers that were real racists were Democrat. When the republican congress finally forced Lyndon Johnson to sign the Civil Rights Act that they had written, he is quoted as stating something to the effect of  “at least we’ll have those (n) voting for us forever.”

Baghdad Bob as the speakers at the 50th anniversary of the I Have A Dream speech, while the one lone black Senator in the country (a Republican) stands waving, wondering why he was not invited.

Baghdad Bob as Sharpton saying that Voter I.D laws were written by the GOP to disenfranchise minority voters. As he says this, behind him are the states that have voter ID laws and the FACT that minority turnout has INCREASED in every area where they have it. If the GOP wanted to disenfranchise minority voters with this, well, they suck at it. Might as well just laugh and give it to them. Dick.

The biggest cause of the current problems in inner cities is due to inadequate education, and enforcement of the “You will never succeed. Why try. We will take care of you” school of learning by the Left. If you wish to see just what you have to, and CAN, do to better yourself, read of Charles V. Payne’s life story. Instead, you have Baghdad Bob as an inner city education administrator stuffing his pockets with taxpayer’s cash while saying he is confident of his schools as his cities youth goes uneducated and teachers have to pay out of pocket for supplies.

Baghdad Bob as Eric Holder saying he is investigating a certain inner city for interfering with a racial equalization plan. Behind him is the voucher system he wants to end because it gives the parents a choice as to where to have their children educated? Whua?

Baghdad Bob was last seen in Detroit, where as the cities powers-that-be say “There’s nothing wrong here, nothing to see here, move along now; we know what we are doing” as the buildings behind them are being vacated and torn down.

Bob as any Republican leader who says absolutely anything involving a Women’s reproductive system, or sex in general, as the women of the country stand behind him with that same look a dog gives you when it doesn’t understand an f-ing thing you say, with its head tilted to the side and its ears up.

Baghdad Bob as any Republican leader who wants the House to threaten a Governmental shutdown over the Debt Ceiling increase. Behind him is every Democrat in the country yelling for him to PLEASE do just that.

What amazes me is the amount of sheer hate for real conversation and opposing views on the far left. While the far right almost always assumes they are correct intellectually, they don’t seem to really hate the other side; they would rather ignore them, or just step over them. The far left, on the other hand honestly feels that any and all opposing views must be silenced. That is far more frightening. I am reminded of the Monty Python skit on witches. When I see an MSNBC talking head excoriate a guest’s opposing viewpoint, I immediately see John Cleese waving his fist in the air, saying “BUUURRRN HER”. The far left wants you punished, lose your job, all your income, die.

Hey look, every side has its hate hooters, (Beck, Rush, Hannity , Olbermann, & all MSNBC commentators) but it is the personal nature of some of the hate that scares me. It is the antitheses of the word American.

If You Want To Silence All Opposing Views, You Suck As A Human Being:

I really cannot take much of some people, but I honestly do not want them wacked, and would ACTUALLY INSIST on their ability to annoy me. Most on the left would not even tolerate being in the same state, although Zano lets me live in the same State as him. He just made sure he was higher up the mountain from me as it were. Just more of that Liberal Progressive—looking down upon the unclean masses—school of thought.

I have an idea I want all fringe asshats to cogitate over. Most of America is much more centrist than you. They just happen to have important things to do, unlike now me, and people like Zano, so you may not hear from them often, but they eventually have to rule things, not any of you, or me. But I will admit that I am the last person anyone would want in charge of anything. Mikko still wants to be Emperor and Field Marshall for Life.

Lastly, the final Bob is Whitehouse Press Secretary Jay Carney saying all is well, while the economy again starts to tank, and scandals both real and imagined, rage behind him. All the while a speech plays golf.

Everyone from the bearded, Prius-driving, Columbia educated College Professor to the $1200.00 suit-wearing slick-haired chicklet-toothed Escalade-driving hedge fund manager has the RIGHT to their opinions. And guess what! Their opinion is as correct as yours is, and equally as meaningful. It is, after all, an OPINION, not a fact. Whether you agree or disagree, you must compromise, not “win”. If you completely win nearly half the country totally loses. That’s not a Democratic Republic, that’s, well, today’s France. And, if you wish to win at all costs, well:

Je vous déteste

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